BACK TO THE FUTURE

(July 1985, U.S.)

You may not believe this, but just two weeks ago I actually saw a DeLorean DMC-12 on the road and before I was aware of what I was saying, I blurted out, "There goes a "Back to the Future" DeLorean!" Can you blame me? How can anyone ever see that car again and not immediately think of BACK TO THE FUTURE? Can't be done. Don't even try.

July 1985 was a very memorable month for me. It was the summer before I was to go away to college. I had a great summer job in Westhampton Beach, Long Island (I had a crush on the girl I was working with), LIVE AID was a global musical event (The Who and Led-Zeppelin reunited! Yeah!!!) and the summer movies were dominated by John Rambo, "A View to a Kill" (both the James Bond movie and the Duran Durnan song) and BACK TO THE FUTRE. This movie HAD to be a hit, right? Michael J. Fox was already a star on FAMILY TIES and the people who gave us RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981) and E.T. (1982) were behind it (look them up).

Time travel in any film already makes for great high concept science fiction. But I think the real high concept in the story here is the challange Marty McFly faces in trying to make sure his would-be parents hook up in 1955 in order to save his own existence. How do you do that when your dad lacks any self-confidence and your mom has got the hots for you (Eww!). There lies the comedy and the insanity of it all.

Ever wonder what YOU could change if you could go back in time and locate your would-be parents? In my case, I'd have to travel to Forest Hills, Queens and Egypt!

Favorite line or dialogue:

George McFly: "Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."

BACK TO SCHOOL

(June 1986, U.S.)

This is one of those films that was all about personal timing, as well as laughs. In the summer of 1986, I had just completed my freshman year of college. So it goes without saying that BACK TO SCHOOL holds a lot of youthful memories for me. But even almost 25 years later, the comedy styles of Rodney Dangerfield still holds up well. I mean, if YOUR father was going to attend college with you just to show you that a good education could be achieved while partying your ass off, wouldn't you want him to be a guy like Dangerfield?? Even Robert Downy Jr. in one of his earliest roles is funny as a dorky, trouble-making freshman.

By the way, the story of BACK TO SCHOOL is allegedly based on a real father-and-son team that attended law school together. You see - no matter how ridiculous and far-fetched a plot of any film may seem, at least part of it can be tied to something that happened to someone in real life. Ain't that funny?

Favorite line or dialogue:

Professor Turguson: "You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the Korean conflict? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the 38th parallel and push those rice-eaters back to the Great Wall of China? Then take the fucking wall apart brick by brick and nuke them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it!"
Thornton Melon: "All right. I'll say it. 'Cause Truman was too much of a *pussy wimp* to let MacArthur go in there and blow out those Commie bastards!"
Turguson: "Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you."
Melon: "Good teacher. He really seems to care. About WHAT I have no idea."

BACKDRAFT

(May 1991, U.S.)

Having recently watched BACKDRAFT for this post, one question kept running through my mind..."What the hell ever happened to William Baldwin??" He was once a really big star. Now I couldn't name anything he's done for the last 15 years.

Ron Howard is one of my favorite directors of our time. But even he's not perfect. For as many hits as he's had, like SPLASH, APOLLO 13, CINDERELLA MAN and FROST/NIXON, he's had his share of misses, in my opinion, like GUNG HO, FAR AND AWAY (Oh man, that SUCKED!) and THE MISSING. BACKDRAFT was not only a big hit and one of the best summer blockbusters of 1991, but it glorified fire in a way that I didn't think could be done again since THE TOWERING INFERNO (1974). But whereas INFERNO was more people-oriented, BACKDRAFT really concentrates on fire and what makes it breathe, eat and hate. Basically, despite the all-star cast, it's fire that's the real star of the film.

On the "people side", the subplot of the ongoing fued between Chicago fire fighter brothers (Kurt Russell and William Baldwin) is intruiging to watch. Despite their differences and gripes, they manage to come together as loyal brothers when the shit comes down at the end. Before dying, the last thing Russell says to Baldwin is, "I was your brother." Aww.

The special effects and pyrotechnics used in BACKDRAFT are some of the best I've ever seen. There's a sequence toward the end of the film where Baldwin is running for his life on the roof of a burning building as the roof proceeds to collapse in back of him. It's particularly pleasing to know that this kind of spectacular effect was done with little-to-no computer work.

Favorite line of dialogue:

John 'Axe' Adcox: "I think it appropriate that we recognize the two asswipes... Probationary Firemen... among us today who were officially baptized into the world of Old Man Fire. First, to Tim. Despite the fact that he has a rather dull expression, and a really hideous pair of ears; he not only took on the beast but pulled from its clutches, assisted by a more famous and brilliant firefighter, me, a kicking and screaming civilian who will probably wind up suing us for breaking her fingernails. And to Brian...whose own contribution was not only more beautiful but less likely to sue. You know, when I learned that both McCaffrey brothers would be assigned at the same station together at the same time, my heart was filled with... a sudden desire to transfer. So raise a glass, gents. To funny-looking Tim, and the McCaffrey brothers, who have gotten on each other's nerves and still managed after all these years to still be pissed off at each other. Gentlemen..."
All: "FUCK YOU!"

BACHELOR PARTY

(June 1984, U.S.)

Before PHILADELPHIA...before FORREST GUMP...before SAVING PRIVATE RYAN...before CASTAWAY...before all of that Oscar-related glory, Tom Hanks was just another silly buffoon on screen. But he was the BEST damn sill buffoon I'd ever seen. By the summer of 1984, Hanks was already popular from his time on ABC-TV's BOSOM BUDDIES and his recent role in Ron Howard's SPLASH. The timing, too, was right for BACHELOR PARTY because the raunchy sex comedy was quite popular in the early '80's.

So how much can I say about the plot? It's a bachelor party, so there's plenty of cliche and predictable crazy shit going on. By my film standards today, this film would likely be a real piece of crap and waste of my time. But it's Tom Hanks that carries the film with his loud insanity and nutty dialogue. And besides, the movie brings back memories of my high school youth and enables me to fantasize about the bachelor party I WISH I could have had (or something close to it) before I got married in 2001. Actually, I didn't have one. Sucks for me!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Mr. Thompson: "Rick...I wanna cut through the B.S."
Rick Gassko: "I'd like that."
Mr. Thompson: "Good. I think you're an asshole. No, no, let me correct that - an IMMATURE asshole, which is fine. Except that you're marrying my daughter and I'm afraid that my grandchildren are gonna be LITTLE assholes."

BABEL

(October 2006, U.S.)

My understanding of the definition for the word "babel" is a confusing series of noises or voices. However, this atheist had to look up its Biblical meaning. According to a dictionary website, Babel refers to the Tower of Babel, a tower that was intended to reach from Earth to Heaven, the building of which was frustrated when Jehovah confused the language of the builders. The confusion of language and the inability to listen and understand is the key element of BABEL; a series of three interrelated sets of characters, situations and stories that are revealed out of sequence.

Three stories set in three parts of the world - Morocco, Japan and Mexico, all ultimately tied to the ownership, selling and use of a high-powered rifle used in an accidental shooting of an American tourist (played by Cate Blanchet). But let's get back to the theme of language and understanding. Imagine the fear and frustration of Brad Pitt trying to save his wife's life in a foreign country where mutual languages are not understood and the proper medical attention is unavailable. Imagine being a young, lonely Japanese deaf girl who only yearns to be heard and to be loved in such a cruel world. Imagine being a small American child taken illegally across the border into Mexico and being surround by people and a culture you don't understand and is sometimes frightening (see the chicken beheading!) Imagine trying to save your illegal immigrant status by trying to plead and communicate with U.S. officials that won't listen to you (okay, to be honest, I have less sympathy about THAT one!).

Let's return to Mexico subplot for a bit - from the moment the Mexican nanny made the decision to take the two children with her to her son's wedding, my stomach was immediately filled with dread because I knew that something was ultimately going to go wrong. Would the children get lost in a foreign country? Would the little girl be raped by a drunk? Would the little boy get hit by a drunk's stray bullet? My feelings of dread did not disappoint - the children and the nanny are abandoned in the California desert. The children almost die. You feel for them and you're relieved when they are found unharmed.

There's a very clear message in BABEL of trying to maintain tollerance in a world that lacks understanding. Whether the message sticks is strictly up to the viewer's own level of tollerance. For myself, I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't succumbed to many episodes of intollerance in my life. I make no apologies for it, though.

I've occassionally said that a truly great art film will not only leave you thinking, but will also leave you a little depressed, too (it's a theory, anyway). BABEL does both and I consider it one of the best art films of the last decade.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Mike Jones: "My mom said Mexico is dangerous."
Santiago (in Spanish): "Yes, it's full of Mexicans."

THE AVIATOR

(December 2004, U.S.)

I hate to confess ignorance regarding Howard Hughes, but before Martin Scorsese's THE AVIATOR, the only two things I'd ever heard about the man was that he was rich beyond imagination and that he was an eccentric reclusive. The only glimpse I'd previously gotten of him in the media was a film called MELVIN AND HOWARD (1980) in which actor Jason Robards played him as an old man. I had no idea he (Hughes) was a filmmaker. I had no idea he was such a pioneering force behind the world of early 20th century aviation. I had no idea he'd dated such iconic movie stars of the time. I had no idea he suffered from extreme obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Leonardo DiCaprio is an accomplished actor, to be sure, but man, if they ever give out an award for best performance of a man suffering from OCD, he gets my vote a thousand times over! You truly feel the pain and anguish Hughes must have suffered by this disease through his powerful performance. It's enthralling to watch a gifted young actor play a man so obsessively-determined to achieve his dream and to not allow anyone, anything or any dollar amount get in his way. I have to admit also, it's rather fun watching Hollywood of today playing Hollywood of yesterday; Cate Blanchett nails it as Katharine Hepburn (Cate playing Kate, get it?), Kate Beckinsale as a more-often-than-not very angry Ava Gardner, Gwen Stefani as Jean Harlow and look for a cameo by Jude Law playing bad boy Errol Flynn.

As much as I loved Clint Eastwood's MILLION DOLLAR BABY, it was THE AVIATOR I felt should have won the Oscar for best picture and Martin Scorsese the Oscar for best director of 2004. He should not have had to wait another two years before scoring both awards for THE DEPARTED.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Howard Hughes: "You wanna, you wanna go, huh? Go on. Actresses are cheap in this town, darlin', and I got a lot of money."
Katharine Hepburn: "Howard, please - this is beneath you."
Howard: "No, no, this is, this is EXACTLY me! You come in here outta the blue and tell me you're leavin' me just like that and you have the NERVE to expect gracioussness??"
Katharine: "I expect a little maturity. I expect you to face the situation like an adult who..."
Howard: "DON'T talk down to me! Don't you ever talk down to me! You are a movie star, nothing more!"

And with that, people, we are finally of of the 'A's' of my title collection. It only took the better part of 4 months.

AVATAR

(December 2009, U.S.)

I've got a lot to talk about here, so grab yourself a Coke & smile and follow along. First, I'd like to talk about the film itself and then move on to the actual digital 3D theatrical experience.

To begin with, there is almost nothing truly original about the story of AVATAR. Try to imagine a sci-fi version of DANCES WITH WOLVES and the story of POCAHONTAS. Then throw in some elements of RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983), JURASSIC PARK (1993), INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996), THE MATRIX (1999) and James Cameron's own ALIENS (1986) and you've pretty much got the crust of the whole movie. And by the way - those floating mountains of Pandora? Well, lets just say that Cameron must have owned a copy of the 1973 live Yes album, YESSONGS, because the artwork of Roger Dean has clearly been ripped off here. Take a look...



So, we basically have an epic science fiction film that has borrowed from everything it can think of and has almost nothing new to contribute to the screen in terms of story. But strike me down, people, because in spite of all this I can't help but love and enjoy the film anyway! The colorful fantasy of this magical planet and the people that inhabit it are simply dazzling! The action is hardcore without being cheesy or insulting to the intelligence. Even the acting is well done. Sigourney Weaver's return to work with Cameron (they did ALIENS together) is most welcomed in the role of a tough-talking scientist who's also a maternal figure at heart. Stephen Lang has to be the toughest badass motherfucker I've seen on screen since Sylvester Stallone (Lang is the same man who played the passive character of Happy in DEATH OF A SALESMAN back in 1985)! There are also cliche messages here, such as man's relationship with the environment he's supposed to be protecting instead of destroying and the struggle between the good of the scientists and the violent madness of the military. And beauty...there's plenty of beauty, too.

AVATAR is one of those films that received an overkill of hype upon its release. So naturally, I resisted seeing it. I'm happy to have discovered that it was actually a film worthy of the hype it generated. After all is judged and analyzed, it comes down to being just a fun science fiction film!

Now let's talk about the experience of seeing AVATAR in the theater in digital 3D. Let me start by saying that before this film, I'd only been to three 3D movies in my life. The first was JAWS 3-D (hey, it was my first. What did I know?). The second was a midnight screening of FRIDAY THE 13TH 3-D (when you're in college, you often see a lot of crap!) and a revival screening of DIAL M FOR MURDER (even the great Alfred Hitchcock was entitled to do something silly once in a while). All three times had me wearing the classic paper 3D glasses that they used in the 1950's. They've improved on that and now give you real plastic glasses to wear instead. The problem is that if you're not used to wearing glasses, these things have a tendancy to painfully pinch the space between your eyes while you're watching. And what if you already wear glasses? Are you seriously supposed to sit there for two and a half hours wearing one pear of glasses on top of another (remember Robert Stack in AIRPLANE?) Another thing I discovered is that when you're watching the movie head-on at the center, the picture at the left and right side of the screen tend to bleed. And let's face it - in my opinion, all of this bullshit 3D gimmickry does NOT make for a better film. For me, dazzling special effect do not look any better just because they're in front of my face. In the end, gimmicks are nothing more than just plain gimmicks. And as if all of THIS isn't bad enough, I've even read of cases where people developed eye infections as a result of wearing these glasses that may not have been properly sterilized after the person before them was wearing them. How fucking typical!

Finally, one of the most infuriating elements of the 3D experience is the absolute outrageous notion that Hollywood and theater chains have that they can now ask for ticket prices that have gone as high as $19.50 (in New York City). Let me repeat that...$19.50 for the price of a single movie ticket so you can experience silly 3D effects for films that have often not been filmed in 3D in the first place! Brother, for a whopping $19.50 that ticket had better come with a deluxe pizza, a six-pack of Coronas (with lime!) and a gorgeous piece of ass to share it with me! Hollywood has always been filled with greedy, money-grubbing pimps, but if this latest tool of movie marketing and rip-off is the future of cinema, THEN I WANT NO PART OF IT! By the way, I'm not the only one with these strong convictions.

So, bottom line - AVATAR is a great film to be enjoyed more if you're watching it in the comfort of your own home without the gimmicks and the insane ticket price. Finally, for your interest - though I recently took my little boy to see TOY STORY 3, as of this date, I haven't been to a movie (in a theater) geared towards grown-ups since AVATAR back in January 2010. Just goes to show you what I think of much of today's movies!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Dr. Max Patel: "Grace, this is Jake Sully."
Jake Sully: "Madame."
Dr. Grace Augustine: "Yeah, yeah, I know who you are and I don't need you. I need your brother. You know, the PHD who trained for three years for this mission."
Jake: "He's dead. I know it's a big inconvenience for everyone."
Grace: "How much lab training have you had?"
Jake: "I dissected a frog once."
Grace: "You see? You see? I mean they're just pissing on us without even the courtesy of calling it rain!"