2010

 

(December 1984, U.S.)

By the year 1984, I'd only seen Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY when it aired on TV or when I rented it on pan and scan video cassette.  When Arthur C. Clarke's 2010: ODYSSEY TWO was released in 1982, I read it as soon as a copy was available at my local library, and when the film version was announced with Roy Scheider taking over the role of Dr. Heywood Floyd, I waited in anticipation for its release.

I went to see Peter Hyam's sequel with a friend of mine who'd never seen 2001, so I don't think he was too keen on its sequel.  Still, I was persistent about it and he was a good friend.  He approached our trip to the movies with a good attitude, and was willing to at least give it a try.  And to be fair, I took the time to catch him up on the events of 2001 while we drove to the movie theater, beginning primarily with the discover of the monolith on the moon, hardly bothering to describe the Dawn of Man sequence because it hardly fit in with the new movie.  As he listened to my detailed description, my friend sounded genuinely interested, but who could really tell.  Maybe he was just being a friend and humoring me.  My descriptive backstory of 2001 combined with 2010's pre-credit recap of the events of the first movie leading to the point of the sequel’s introduction might have been enough information for him to know what he was watching without actually seeing 2001.  That’s bullshit, of course, because there is no substitute for seeing the entire masterpiece of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, on screen if possible, and certainly a lot more than once.

Admittedly, I would’ve loved to see William Sylvester return in the role of Dr. Heywood Floyd, but Roy was about as perfect as a substitute as I could’ve imagined.  At the very least, Keir Dullea returns as astronaut David Bowman and Douglas Rain as the voice of the HAL 9000 computer (some things can never be substituted).  It's nine years later now, and the world is on the brink of World War III due to international tensions between the United States and the Soviet Union.  Heywood Floyd is now a college professor because he was initially blamed for the failure of the Discovery mission to Jupiter in 2001.  A new mission is in the works, in which U.S. and Soviet astronauts will return to Jupiter together in the Soviet spaceship, the Leonov, to find out what happened to David Bowman, Frank Poole, the Discovery, and HAL.  Questions that are lingering for nine years are due to be answered.  Intriguing is the fact that this joint mission will take place even as it looks like the U.S. and Russia are about to destroy each other.

While en route to Jupiter, signs of life are detected on one of its moons, Europa.  An unmanned probe and a burst of mysterious energy determine that something is warning the Leonov to stay away from Europa.  The Discovery is found continuously rotating in space, which I consider an original visual effect rather than the ship just sitting there like a dead relic.  It's the eventual arrival at the Monolith itself that disappoints me.  It, unlike the Discovery, isn’t moving at all.  It does sit there like a dead relic.  This is a terrible point in the story because it's the mystery of the monolith’s motion and travel through space I find so breathtaking in the first movie.  While I realized Peter Hyams doesn't want to intentionally copy anything Kubrick already did, this decision seems like a mistake.

Still, there are two more groundbreaking moments in the movie: an explanation to why Hal malfunctioned and killed the rest of the crew aboard the Discovery, and the long-awaited appearance of David Bowman.  The first is delivered with some explicit detail by Hal’s programmer, Dr. Chandra (played by Bob Balaban), who explains the reason HAL did what he did is because he was instructed not to reveal the true mission about the Monolith to the ship’s crew.  This conflicted with HAL’s basic programming of his accurate and truthful processing of information.  Basically, he was instructed to lie and he couldn’t handle the stress or the consequences of it.  He became paranoid and had a computer mental breakdown, causing him to commit murder (that's quite a story).  Who knew that computers could act this way, even in what was considered our future (at the time).  

Tensions back on Earth are detailed.  The United States and the Soviet Union are escalating their conflicts to the breaking point of what could become World War III.  In space, American and Soviet astronauts can no longer occupy the same ship.  But it's Bowman’s eventual arrival that creates the circumstances that get them working together again.  His warning to Dr. Floyd is that they have to leave Jupiter in two days, despite the fact that “something wonderful” is going to happen.  Unlike Dr. Chandra’s long-winded explanation, Bowman gives little information to help us understand things.  He appears, he speaks, he transforms himself into the old man and Star Child we’ve seen in the first movie, and then he disappears.  As everyone in space prepares for a mutual departure, Jupiter develops a growing black spot on the planet’s surface that turns out to be an enormous group of Monoliths that constantly multiply.  As suspense and tensions mount, the Leonov escapes danger even as the Discovery is destroyed (along with HAL) and Jupiter explodes.  This explosion creates a miraculous new star in space, and is accompanied by a final transmission of hopeful words to our planet meant to inspire the United States and the Soviet Union to seek peace with each other: All these worlds are yours except Europa.  Attempt no landing there.  Use them together.  Use them in peace. 

In the end, though, not all is resolved and not all questions are answered.  Much like the first movie, we're finally left with the shape of the Monolith standing alone in the swamp of Europa; an intelligent life form that will continue to evolve and raise questions for humanity.  

I recall asking my friend what he thought of 2010 and I have to give the guy credit for doing his best to spare my feelings of enthusiasm by telling me that he thought it was a good movie, when what I’m sure he really wanted to say was, “Dude, I didn’t get any of it.  I didn’t see any of 2001, so how could I possibly enjoy this?”  I’ll never know for sure if that was the truth, but I’m still grateful for his movie companionship, nonetheless.

It’s taken some years of movie maturity to fully understand and appreciate this, but the first rule when judging 2010 is you’re required to put 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY aside to the point where it almost doesn’t exist.  This is a sequel, to be sure, but to make unfair and unwarranted comparisons to Kubrick’s masterpiece is nothing short of futile.  While 2010 can never achieve the poetic mystery or the sense of wonder its predecessor did, I cannot deny it effectively continues the story that Arthur C. Clarke put in print.  This is still a fun and exciting space adventure in its own right, once you’ve accepted the fact that 2001 is meant to stand alone as one of the greatest motion pictures ever created.  Still, I can’t be entirely kind to this film.  Despite the fact that one of the central points of 2010 is to answer essential questions that have lingered for sixteen years between film releases, it’s the answers that I feel ultimately flaw the film.  Keeping in mind that it’s the sense of inexplicable mystery that makes 2001 such an achievement, why would we even want answers?  Yes, HAL went crazy.  Yes, HAL killed the ship’s crew.  Yes, Bowman entered an alternate dimension beyond the infinite, and yes, Bowman was reborn as the Star Child.  Many of us didn’t get it.  Some of us were infuriated by it.  Some of us embraced the great mystery of the unknown and beyond.  Some of us thought the ambiguity of unanswered questions made it all the more appealing.  Bob Balaban breaking it down for us in logical and explicable terms, ultimately pointing to our own government doing what they do best, lying, serves no true purpose but to only ruin what many of us found so delicious in the first place.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Victor Milson: "So, here we are on your actual brink.  My agency's gonna become a part of the military, I've got a president with his finger poised on the button, and you want me to walk across the park and tell him we want to hitch a ride with those very same Russians.  Have I missed anything?"

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY

 (April 1968, U.S.)

Sunday February 13, 1977 was a truly significant night in my movie life, and I didn't even know it.  It was the television broadcast premiere of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey on the NBC Big Event.  Because it was a Sunday night, I didn't get to watch the entire movie, but even if I'd been able to, there's no way I would've been able to fully understand what the hell I was watching because I was only ten years-old.  I knew nothing of Kubrick; the man or his art.  I was simply watching a movie about outer space and astronauts on TV, and it looked really cool, despite being a very quiet movie with almost no dialogue.

It's important for me to mention the TV premiere of this classic sci-fi film because its purpose and impact caught up with me again years later when I was a high school teenager and watched it again on rented VHS videotape.  You know what?  I hated it!  I was an older kid now, who had lived through the generational impact of the fact-paced sci-fi entertainment of the late 1970s and early 1980s that included two Star Wars movies, two Star Trek movies, two Superman movies, Battlestar Galactica on TV, Alien, Moonraker and Disney's The Black Hole.  For me to watch such a boring display of space exploration accompanied by classical music instead of an adventurous soundtrack was, to say the least, intolerable.  Still, time and cinematic maturity can be kind to almost anything.  I gave the movie another look by the time I got to college and...well, long story short, I'm proud and honored to say that 2001: A Space Odyssey is my favorite motion picture of all time, and Stanley Kubrick is my favorite film director of all time...and none of it may have ever happened without that first TV airing on NBC planting the original seed.

What is 2001: A Space Odyssey about, and how can it best be explained in any conventional sense?  How does one effectively explain a twenty-minute sequence of the dawn of man in prehistoric Africa in which a tribe of apes are influenced by the appearance of a black alien monolith and thus discover how to use a bone as a weapon and, after their first hunt, use this new weapon to drive away their rival apes in what can only be classified as man's first war - over a watering hole?  Perhaps we simply take it at face value that man was destined for war from the beginning, and thus the immediate cut to millions of years later simply show how we've evolved from one weapon of the bone to a far-more sophisticated piece of weaponry floating in space near Earth's moon.

What follows for much of the film is some of the most beautiful space and space ship imagery ever displayed on screen, accompanied by the powerful music of "The Blue Danube" (my favorite classical piece of music, and I don't like much classical music) and pieces by Hungarian-Austrian composer Gyorgy Ligeti (among others).  Dr. Heywood Floyd (Chairman of the United States National Council of Astronautics) and his team travel to the moon where they discover a recently-found identical monolith which had buried for four million years.  As they examine the monolith, it suddenly emits a high-powered radio signal which is aimed at the planet Jupiter.

Eighteen months later, the US spacecraft Discover One is bound for Jupiter.  On board are mission pilots and scientists Dr. David Bowman (played by Keir Dullea) and Dr. Frank Poole (played by Gary Lockwood), along with three other scientists in suspended animation.  The ship's operations are controlled by the ship's computer bearing a human personality, a HAL 9000 computer addressed as "HAL" (voiced by Douglas Rain).  After some routing moments aboard the ship, HAL detects an imminent failure of the ship's antenna control device, which ultimately turns out to be a false diagnosis.  This is serious because up until now, the 9000 series of computers had a zero error reputation, and HAL is proven to be in error predicting the fault, though he calmly attributes the discrepancy to human error.

Concerned over this new development in HAL's behavior, Dave and Frank have what they think is a private discussion in which they decide that HAL must be disconnected if he's proven wrong.  What they don't know is that HAL has been reading their lips during their conversation, and is on to their scheme.  In a series of vengeful computer acts, HAL kills Frank and the three sleeping crew members, while refusing to allow Dave re-entry into the Discovery after he's retrieved Frank's floating body in space ("I'm sorry, Dave.  I'm afraid I can't do that.").  Through his own resourcefulness, Dave manages to re-enter the ship through the emergency airlock, and it would appear that HAL is now in big trouble, as Dave systematically disconnects HAL's memory and functioning circuits.  Listen carefully to how HAL, the almighty know-it-all and controller of the entire ship, is now reduced to a babbling (and singing) fool as he fearfully pleads to Dave for his life.  Upon HAL's final disconnection, a prerecorded video message plays, revealing that the mission's objective the entire time is to investigate the radio signal sent from the monolith to Jupiter.

What follows next as the chapter known as JUPITER AND BEYOND THE INFINITE can only be described as a dazzling and totally awesome visual trip of sight, sound, and color (thank you, Douglas Trumbull) as the Dave and the Discovery discover a third and much larger monolith orbiting Jupiter and its moons.  Dave's EVA pod is pulled into a space vortex of colored light and he is carried across vast distances of space, while viewing bizarre cosmological phenomena and strange landscapes of unusual colors (a Stargate).  When his ultimate trip finally comes to an end, Dave finds himself inside a neoclassical hotel suite where he witnesses, and ultimately becomes, older versions of himself until he finally dies a very old man in bed, where the monolith watches at the foot of the bed.  As Dave reaches out for the monolith (my favorite shot in the entire film, by the way)...

...he appears to be transformed into a fetus enclosed in a transparent orb of light, which floats in space beside the planet Earth.  This fetus has become affectionately known as the Star Child.

What does all of this mean, and upon deep reflection, does it really have to mean anything specific in order to be appreciated?  2001: A Space Odyssey is ultimately a story of man's journey and destiny through time and space, in which anything and everything is possible.  While it may not be completely comprehensible on the surface, one can come away with so many different possibilities upon multiple viewings of this sci-fi masterpiece.  Stanley Kubrick himself explained in a 1980 interview of the film's closing scenes where Dave is depicted in old age after his journey through the Stargate...

"The idea was supposed to be that he is taken by godlike entities, creatures of pure energy and intelligence with no shape or form.  They put him in what I suppose you could describe as a human zoo to study him, and his whole life passes from that point on in that room.  And he has no sense of time.  When they get finished with him, as happens in so many myths of all cultures in the world, he is transformed into some kind of super being and sent back to Earth, transformed and made some kind of superman.  We have to only guess what happens when he goes back.  It is the pattern of a great deal mythology."

Perfectly explained, in my opinion, and we have only ourselves to blame if we lack the patience and intelligence to allow ourselves the chance to appreciate the artistic intent behind the ultimate journey into the unknown discovery.  Audiences in 1968 didn't get it because it was so dull, that is until late night patrons decided to get high before experiencing the film's awesome effects, thus dubbing it "the ultimate trip".  We can thank these potheads, I suppose, because folks who could appreciate true cinema finally made 2001: A Space Odyssey the legendary cinematic classic it has always deserved to be, and my favorite motion picture of all time.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Dr. Heywood Floyd (recorded): "Good day, gentlemen.  This is a pre-recorded briefing made prior to your departure, and which for security reasons of the highest importance, has been known on board during the mission only by your HAL 9000 computer.  Now that you are in Jupiter space, and the entire crew is revived, it can be told to you.  Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the earth was discovered.  It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Tycho.  Except for a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter, the four million year-old black monolith has remained completely inert.  Its origin and purpose, still a total mystery."

        

  

TWINS

(December 1988, U.S.)

By the late 1980s, Arnold Schwarzenegger had solidified his position as A-number 1 movie action star right alongside Sylvester Stallone.  In fact, in Ivan Reitman's TWINS, it's a quick shot of Arnold staring at a giant poster board of Stallone and his muscles in RAMBO III, that I think brings the strongest comic moment, in which Arnold shrugs off his physical competition with a laugh.  Still, back then I never would've imagined that the star of CONAN and THE TERMINATOR could ever be funny in any way.  Well, of course, as life often dictates, never say ever.  In fact, when you take someone as physically grandeur as Arnold and stand him next to a pudgy, little bald pipsqueak like Danny DeVito, and actually call them twins, the promise of comedy seems very self-evident.

And so, the story goes that Julius (Arnold) and Vincent (Danny) Benedict are twins, as a result of a secret experiment carried out at a genetics laboratory in the 1950s in order to combine the DNA of six superior fathers and one mother to produce the perfect human child.  But the unexpectedly split and the twins were born.  The mother, Mary Ann Benedict, was told that Julius died at birth, and wasn't told about Vincent at all.  Vincent was raised in a Los Angeles orphanage run by nuns (one of whom he lost his virginity to when he was twelve years-old) and was told that his mother abandoned him, resulting in his becoming a small time low life jerk in debt over his head to loan sharks.  Julius, on the other hand, was raised on a beautiful island in the South Pacific by a kind scientist from the original experiment.  On the day that Julius becomes aware of Vincent's existence, he believes his long lost brother to be in trouble and in need of his help, and makes his way to Los Angeles, where he immediately takes in some of the local cheap, fast food cuisine.

Tracking Vincent down to jail for a lot of unpaid parking tickets, Julius bails him out and even comes to his aid when the loan sharks, the Klane brothers, come to collect their debt.  He also meets Vincent's girlfriend Linda and her very hot sister Marnie (played by the late Kelly Preston).  Vincent has no interest in locating his real mother, as he believed he was abandoned at birth.  Julius, however, is persistent in his need for family, and tracks down one of the six fathers, who directs Julius to another one of the original scientists located in New Mexico.  Agreeing on a road trip to investigate this further, they proceed in a Cadillac that Vincent previously stole from an airport parking garage run by his buddy, and discovers there's a prototype fuel injector inside the trunk of the car, which Vincent will collect five million dollars for if he drives it to Houston, Texas.  Trouble is, there's a hitman called Webster on their trail who was supposed to drive that very car and collect the money instead.

In New Mexico, the twins learn the truth about themselves, and they're directed to Santa Fe, where their mother supposedly lives and runs an art colony.  Once there, they learn their mother has died.  They leave, unaware that the woman who told them this was in fact, their mother Mary Ann Benedict, who refused to believe their claim to be her sons since she was initially told her one son had died at birth

(you following all of this family drama?)

Frustrated, Vincent heads to Houston alone to deliver the prototype.  Julius catches up, though, using what he believes is his twin telepathy and manages again to rescue Vincent from certain danger and death against Webster, who ends up being killed by a horde of falling steel chains.  The two brothers return the prototype and collect a minor reward, though Vincent has managed to skim one of the five million dollars without Julius knowing (something a little weasel like DeVito would do).  The film ends with the perfectly-predictable happy Hollywood ending in which mother and twins are reunited, and two families live happily ever after with twin babies of their own...and this is the part where we all say, "Awwwww."

And so, to my very fortunate surprise, it turns out that Arnold Schwarzenegger can be funny when he has to be.  Though TWINS does offer predictable modest comic pleasures to those who just want to laugh and forget for a couple of hours, the film certainly does rely on the premise of wackiness to perhaps overcome for any narrative shortcomings in story and character function.  Still, as goofy comedies go, it's engaging entertainment with the right laughs in the right places, and perhaps that's all we need when we're in the mood for a good laugh...even if it's with Arnold.

On a more personal note, my memory of TWINS serves as the first time I was ever aware of just how hot and sexy young Kelly Preston was, and it's the image of her in a white nightie on Arnold's hotel bed, with those shapely thighs and that perfectly-shaped ass, that I'll always hold dear to my horny memories...

Thanks for that memory, Kelly (R.I.P.).

Favorite line or dialogue:

Julius Benedict: "My name is Julius, and I am your twin brother."

Vincent Benedict (sarcastic): "Oh, obviously!  The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror!"

 

TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME

(August 1992, U.S.)

Did you watch TWIN PEAKS on ABC back in the early ‘90s?  If you didn’t, and you know nothing about the show, my post for this particular film may go way over your head.  Just the same, give it a shot.  If nothing else, you may be inspired to start streaming the show from the beginning now.

When David Lynch’s groundbreaking TV show premiered on April 8, 1990 on ABC, I didn’t tune in to see the two hour pilot that immediately grabbed the world’s attention.  It was actually a week later when a friend turned me on to the show already several episodes into its story.  Yes, I’d missed the pilot, but I was immediately hooked on this new television phenomenon trying to solve the mystery of “who killed Laura Palmer?”  Those who also followed the show more than thirty years ago know that while it started off with a colossal bang, it died a very quick death after Laura Palmer’s murderer (spoiler alert – it was her father) was revealed and was cancelled after it wrapped things up at the end of just two seasons.  Still, David Lynch couldn’t get his head and his heart away from the world of TWIN PEAKS and wanted to make a film to further explore the material of Laura Palmer and the contradictions of her character – lovely and radiant on the outside, but dying on the inside.  Actress Sheryl Lee, who played Laura, never actually got to live her character’s torment of being the victim of incest, as she was already dead when the series began (only Laura in flashback was ever seen).  There was also the torment of her father Leland Palmer and the dark side of Bob that raged within his soul. 

The final result was the R-rated prequel film TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME more than a year after the TV series was cancelled.  It was released without marketing or fanfare on Labor Day weekend of 1992, which also turned out to be one of the best weekends I ever had with friends at my family's beach house in Westhampton Beach, Long Island.  I went to see it on screen with some college friends.  What we all undeniably had in common was our love of TWIN PEAKS.  During that weekend, the sun didn’t shine even once, but it also didn’t rain.  So while we nonchalantly went about our days without planning too much in advance, one thing that was certain was a drive to Southampton on Sunday night to attend the late night showing of FIRE WALK WITH ME.  The theater that night was practically empty.  Except for my group of friends, there were maybe two or three other people, and they were seated in the back.  So for all practical purposes, my friends and I had the theater to ourselves.  This was our theater, our night, and our love of TWIN PEAKS bringing us together now.  We’d followed the show from beginning to end, knew everything there was to know, and as far as we were concerned, David Lynch had made this prequel for us.  This private arrogance wasn’t without merit, because it's immediately obvious when the film begins and the floating corpse of Teresa Banks is identified on screen, the understanding of this film, its characters and its circumstances are highly predicated on having watched the TV series.

Beginning one year before the murder of Laura Palmer, FBI agents Chester Desmond and Sam Stanley are assigned to investigate the murder of teenage drifter and prostitute Teresa Banks in the town of Deer Meadow, Washington.  The weirdness of David Lynch wastes no time with a woman named Lil, whose physical appearance and actions reveal information about their assignment, including an artificial blue rose pinned to her dress.  While examining Teresa’s corpse in the morgue, they discover a small piece of paper inserted under her fingernail with the letter “T” printed on it (you may recall that Laura had the same kind of paper with the letter “R” printed on it).  Later, while retrieving Teresa’s missing ring, the camera freezes, as if to suggest Desmond has been taken by an unseen force.

At the FBI headquarters in Philadelphia, Special Agent Dale Cooper (with Kyle MacLachlan returning in the role) and his boss Gordon Cole (David Lynch himself) experience a vision of their long-lost colleague Phillip Jeffries, (played by by David Bowie).  He tells them of a meeting he witnessed of mysterious spirits above a convenience store, including the Man from Another Place and the killer Bob (whom we already know to be the evil spirit that inhabited the body of Leland Palmer when he was killing).  One year later, we're once again in the town of Twin Peaks.  Laura is alive, she's addicted to cocaine, and is seeing James Hurley behind her biker boyfriend Bobby Briggs’s back.  In her bedroom, she discovers pages torn out of her secret diary, and then witnesses her own father exiting the house, thus deducing that he and Bob are one in the same.  Leland is abusive with her that night at dinner, and then lovingly tender with her later.  Her dream of being in the Black Lodge with Cooper and the Man from Another Place is creepy and visually haunting, as only David Lynch can do it.  Cooper wants Laura not to take Teresa’s ring, but it ends up in her hand, nonetheless.  When she awakes, the ring is gone.

The scene that follows in the Roadhouse is an example of everything Lynch couldn’t get away with on TV, including drug use, nudity and acts of sex.  We also learn that Laura and Ronette Pulaski knew Teresa Banks.  In a private moment with Laura and father in the car, they're verbally assaulted by Philip Gerard (also known as the one-armed man) who is possessed by the demon known as Mike, when he tries to warn Laura about her father and Bob.  Teresa’s ring is on his finger, and the film flashbacks to a potential foursome with her and Leland.  This doesn't happen when he's shocked to discover that one of the girls is his own daughter and flees the scene.  We're reminded again that we're watching an R-rated movie instead of a censored TV show, because there's a moment when the incestuous nature of Laura’s torment is not only visual, but physical, when Bob comes through her window and rapes her, only to reveal himself as Leland for a brief moment, sending Laura into terror.

Finally, on the night we all know is coming, Laura meets Leo Johnson, Jacques Renault and Ronette at the cabin in the woods.  Leland follows her there, and makes his evil existence known to us all when he attacks the men, and takes the girls to an abandoned train car.  Transforming into Bob, he beats Ronette unconscious and viciously murders Laura.  Now wrapped in plastic, she's placed in the lake until she washes up ashore the next morning, which is where the TV show pilot began more than two years earlier.  In the Black Lodge, Agent Cooper is there to comfort her spirit.  When she sees the angel of goodness, she laughs and cries, and we all believe that Laura Palmer shall find peace in a happier place.

This prequel was likely doomed before it ever hit the screen because if you didn’t follow the TV show, the film’s content would mean nothing to you, and probably just piss you off.  This was a time before streaming, and not even the complete videotape series of the show was available yet.  So it’s no wonder FIRE WALK WITH ME bombed at both the box office and with critics.  Those who “didn’t get it” likely felt the character of Laura Palmer to be uninteresting and non-compelling, in a tale that simply went beyond the standards of TV to feature language, violence, nudity and sex.  The nudity thankfully doesn't disappoint, because we finally get to see some of Laura Palmer we never got to see on network TV, including her topless body sitting next to Ronette at the Roadhouse, as she appears to enjoy getting orally pleasured by a guy under the table...

...and a few brief skin shots of her in her bedroom before going out on what will be her fateful night, including her lovely and shapely ass, and her firm thighs...

Of course, I can certainly appreciate all that, so it’s from the perspective of someone like me who followed the show, and has enjoyed following the bizarre art form of David Lynch, that I can offer all the personal love and praise I bestow on this film.  Like the Italian director Federico Fellini, Lynch takes the opportunity to be as self-indulgent as he wishes to be with material he’s been in love with for much of his career.  Lynch is brave in taking the small American town from TV and showing a darker, more horrific side of it in the life of a beautiful young woman we know is going to die in the end.  It’s this knowledge of Laura Palmer’s pending death that instills a psychological edge in our thoughts in knowing that there’s nothing that can be done to save her: Laura will die by the hands of her own father, and we know it’s coming with every terrifying minute that passes because we’re meant to understand what it’s like to be in her shoes as she suffers so horribly.

Despite its initial negative backlash (even by some die-hard fans of the show), FIRE WALK WITH ME has enjoyed some positive critical re-evaluation and cult status.  But like it or not, for better or worse, the film is every bit as weird and twisted as anything David Lynch has offered us before with films like Blue Velvet and Wild at Heart.  I mean, it’s TWIN PEAKS, for crying out loud, and in the end, may be all but critic-proof due to enough love and support that comes from people who understand the artist…people like myself and my old college friends who were with me that night over Labor Day weekend 1992.

Thank you, my friends, for one of the most personal weekends in the Hamptons I’ve ever experienced, and will never forget.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Special Agent Phillip Jeffries: "Well now, I'm not gonna talk about Judy.  In fact, we're not gonna talk about Judy at all.  We're gonna keep her out of it."

TWILIGHT (2008)

(November 2008, U.S.)

Just a quick note that I intentionally identify the year of this film as 2008 so as not to confuse it with the 1998 Robert Benton film of the same name with Paul Newman and Susan Sarandon.

By all accounts, there's no reason in the world for me to like a movie like TWILIGHT.  To begin with, I'm not a young adult in high school, and with the exception of the Harry Potter series, I have little-to-no interest in popular series of fiction that's very popular with young adults (including my son) like THE HUNGER GAMES or DIVERGENT series.  Second, vampire films are about a dime a dozen ever since the first adaptation of Bram Stoker's DRACULA, and after a while, if you've seen one, you've seen nearly all of them.

So why the attraction to a movie like TWILIGHT?  I mean, it's not like Kristen Stewart is naked in this movie (unfortunately).  I'm also not a young woman with a crush on  a guy like Robert Pattinson.  So there must be something I deem worthy behind this introductory film to what eventually becomes a series of its own.  Let's see if we can't figure it out together.

Stewart plays Bella Swan, a seventeen year-old outcast from Phoenix, Arizona who's just moved to the small town of Forks in the state of Washington to live with her father, the town's chief of police.  She manages to make friends at her new high school easily, but is surprised to find that the school's heartthrob Edward Cullen is practically physically repulsed by her.  Angered, yet intrigued, she seeks to learn why Cullen is keeping his distance from her, even as he repeatedly tries to talk to her.  Days later, Bella is nearly hit by a skidding van in the school parking lot when Edward instantaneously covers the distance between her and his own car and saves her by stopping the van with just his hand.  Refusing to explain how he did that, he warns her against befriending her.  Of  course, she doesn't listen.  Her native American friend Jacob tells her a tale of a long-standing animosity between the Cullen family and his own, citing that the Cullens are not permitted on his reservation.

After some stubborn research, Bella concluded that Edward's mysterious powers are identical to that of the traditional vampire.  He doesn't deny this when confronted by her, buy says that he and his family are like vampire "vegetarians" who only consume animal blood, and not people's.  However, there are three other nomadic vampires out there who aren't so kind, having already eaten two of the local town folks.  Of course Edward and Bella fall in love, and it's now his obligation to keep her safe from those who would eat her for dinner, while keeping the secret of his own identity and his family's.  In the film's climax at an old ballet studio, Bella is attacked and infected with vampire venom.  After a ferocious battle, Edward saves her from becoming a vampire herself by sucking out the venom, but has to control his impulsive nature to devour her completely.  The film ends rather sweetly with the high school prom, but the door is already open for what will continue in four more films.

So, my not being a reader of the TWILIGHT series of books, it's important to note my reasons for being attracted to the first as a stand-alone film.  The reason is simple in that the film in its own way is simple.  Rather than overplay the card in which most fans would demand a whole lot of overblown action and special effects, the film recognizes the style of taking its time to not only introduce us to a series of mysterious characters, but to carefully explore the mystery of who Edward Cullen is (we already know, of course), what makes him exist the way he is, and what the dangers inherently are of him falling in love with a mortal young woman like Bella.  The film doesn't pretend to be an action thriller, but rather a troubled romance, and I think I'm able to totally appreciate and understand that.  It conveys the magic and the miracle of meeting that one special person you've been waiting for who truly moves you.  Some of us never see that sort of magic in real life.  Or if we do, it doesn't always last forever (amazing how a movie about vampires can teach a life lesson or two).

Favorite line or dialogue:

Bella Swan: "About three things I was absolutely certain.  First, Edward was a vampire.  Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how potent that part might be, that thirsted for my blood.  And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

21 GRAMS

(November 2003, U.S.)

Ever since PULP FICTION in 1994, I've become a big fan of films with stories told in a non-linear manner: in other words, where events are portrayed out of chronological order or in other ways where the traditional narrative doesn't necessarily follow the direct pattern of movie events.  But for the purposes of this blog post, it's probably best that I describe things in the chronological order.

Ex-convict Jack Jordan (played by Benicio del Toro) has found a new religious faith in order to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction, although his family has little understanding and patience for his newfound faith in Jesus Christ.  In another part of the same city, Paul Rivers (played by Sean Penn) is a mathematics professor with a fatal heart condition, and unless he receives a new heart from an organ donor, he'll be dead within a month.  Paul's dedicated wife wants him to donate his sperm so she can have his baby if he dies.  And in yet another part of that same city, Christina Peck (played by Naomi Watts) is a recovering drug addict (another one?) living a traditional suburban life with her husband and two daughters.  The lives and stories of these three people become linked together when Jack kills Christina's husband and daughters in a hit-and-run accident, and her husband's heart is donated to Paul.

The loss of her family turns Christina back to drugs, and she comes into contact with Paul, who has deliberately sought her out to find out more about his heart donor.  Stricken with guilt over the accident, Jack turns to drugs again and eventually decides to turn himself in, citing his "duty to God."  While incarcerated, he renounces God and even attempt suicide.  He's, nonetheless, released from prison after Christina declines to press charges, though she will eventually decides she wants Jack dead instead.  When she and Paul finally meet and develop their own romantic relationship, (oh yeah, Naomi Watts is naked, by the way)...

...she convinces Paul to help carry out her obsession with extracting revenge on Jack.  Paul and Christina check into the same motel where Jack is living now, and their plan eventually takes shape when Paul grabs Jack and leads him to an isolated clearing, intent on killing him at gunpoint.  However, Paul is unable to kill, and orders him to just disappear.  This plan backfires, however, and the three of them are inevitably brought together in a moment of gun violence in the motel room, resulting in Jack and Christina rushing Paul to the hospital.  Jack attempts to tell the police that he was the one who shot Paul, but is released when his story doesn't confirm with the actual events of what happened.  Paul dies (spoiler), and the conflict between Jack and Christina remains unresolved.

The filming style of 21 GRAMS is very distinctive in that it involves rather gritty, hand-held camera shots and the use of unique color photographic images to distinguish each character's storyline and their developments.  Jack's story appears to use warm colors, Paul's story appears to use cool colors, and Christina's appear to be more neutral.  While the narrative of the story remains structured to a degree, it's non-linear form provides a very stylish, if not haunting drama of three lives lost, and destined to crash into each other at some point.  The outstanding performances by its three principles are gripping and able to move and astonish us with it's unique (and even satisfying) story of what is supposed to be a look at ordinary life...in its most extraordinary vision.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Paul Rivers (to his wife Mary): "We've been a fraud for a long time."

25TH HOUR

(December 2002, U.S.)

Spike Lee is a director I've tried to follow closely ever since his triumphant DO THE RIGHT THING (1989), a film I consider to the best of the 1980s.  Like so many other directors, he's had his hits and misses with me, but I've often been very curious when he decides to make a film that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the struggle of his people.  His film 25TH HOUR was one of the earliest films to directly deal with the tragedy of September 11, 2001, and it's well integrated into the life of of Montgomery Brogan (played by Edward Norton) as he prepares to begin serving a seven-year prison sentence for drug dealing.  He plans to spend his last night of freedom with childhood friends Frank and Jacob (Barry Pepper and the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman, respectively) at a Manhattan nightclub, as well as his girlfriend Naturelle (played by Rosario Dawson).  Frank is a hotshot, loudmouth Wall Street trader and Jacob is an introverted high school teach with a forbidden crush on his seventeen year-old (underage) student Mary (played by a very sexy Anna Paquin).  His father is a retired firefighter and recovering alcoholic who owns a bar (yeah, I'm sure that helps matters) and plans to drive his son to prison in the morning.

Through the use of flashbacks, we see just how Monty came to be arrested and how his Russian contacts try to convince him that it was Naturelle who turned him in to the Feds.  We see how he met Naturelle in the first place, she being just an eighteen year-old high school girl sitting in the park.  Their love is meant to be genuine and true, but somehow I can never get past the idea that it was simply a horny young man who wanted to get laid by a high school girl fantasy.  The fantasy does turn to love though, but it's hard for others not to suspect the girlfriend of not only living high on Monty's money, but not caring enough to get him to stop dealing drugs.

Back at the nightclub, Jacob is on the verge of turning into a pedophile, and Mary's sexually-motivated interests in him aren't helping matters.  He finally finds the courage to kiss Mary in the bathroom, but both of them appear to be in shock afterwards, going their separate ways and not saying a word about it.  Upstairs at the club, the Russian mob reveals that it was one of their own who betrayed Monty and turned him in.  Refusing the opportunity to extract revenge on his own, he walks away leaving the informant to be killed by the Russian mobsters. 

In the morning, Monty shocks his friends (and us) by demanding that Frank beat his face in so that he won't be such an attractive target of rape when he gets to prison.  An insane request, yes, but it somehow makes sense when you consider the fear Monty is facing and that going in ugly may be his only chance of survival.  On the road trip with his father to the prison, Monty is suddenly faced with the option (and the fantasy) of driving west into hiding, where he could begin a new life and start a family with Naturelle.  This unfortunately is just a fantasy, because when it's over, Monty is still just a beaten man on his way to prison.  Still, we couldn't help but imagine the possibilities of freedom along with him.

As an actor, Edward Norton has often surprised me with his dramatic abilities.  That doesn't necessarily mean I can forgive him for his pointless portrayal of Will Graham in RED DRAGON (2002) and Bruce Banner in THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008).  But what's most unforgettable about him in 25TH HOUR is his personal lashing out at himself in the nightclub bathroom mirror, as he proceeds to angrily rant against all the New York City stereotypes he can think of, from the cab drivers to the corner grocers, to the mobsters, to the terrorists, declaring that he hates them all with an ongoing "Fuck you!"  This act of stereotypical targeting is, of course, very unpolitically correct, but in the wake of 9/11, we all couldn't help but feel a little (or a lot) of Ed's anger toward those who made this country more of a difficult place to live in.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Monty Brogan (staring at himself in the mirror): "Fuck the Wall Street brokers!  Self-styled masters of the universe!  Michael Douglas, Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind!  Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life!  You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about this shit?  Give me a fucking break!"

12 MONKEYS

(December 1995, U.S.)

Lately my son is really into watching downloadable TV and movies about time travel. It's no wonder the possibilities of such a concept have been popular in our media culture ever since H.G. Wells first told us story of THE TIME MACHINE. For my generation, we had reruns of THE TWILIGHT ZONE on late night TV, PLANET OF THE APES sequels, and the entire BACK TO THE FUTURE trilogy, just to name some examples. By today's standards, I can barely keep up with all the stories out there, on screen and in print, that involve time travel. Really, it's all too much to keep up with, which is why I suppose for the last several decades, I've been very selective about what sort of time travel stories I enjoy.

12 MONKEYS by Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python fame) takes the concept and points out that it can be terribly flawed. Despite its flaws, though, time travel is responsible for attempting to control a deadly virus which was released in the year 1996, wiping out most of humanity. Survivors like James Cole (played by Bruce Willis) in the year 2035 are forced to live underground in the ruins of Philadelphia, and in his time, a group known as the Army of the Twelve Monkeys is believed to have been the ones responsible for releasing the deadly virus. Cole is selected for training and sent back in time to locate the original virus in order to aid scientists in developing a cure. He's haunted by reoccurring dreams involving a foot chase and shooting at an airport.

Time traveling back to Baltimore, he mistakenly arrives in the year 1990 instead of 1996, as intended. He's arrested and thrown into a mental hospital with a sea of crazies. He's diagnosed by Dr. Kathryn Railly (played by Madeline Stowe) and determined to have fanatical environmental and anti-corporatist views (whatever the hell that means). Despite his best explanation of his mission regarding the virus outbreak and the fact that it cannot be changed, he's deemed just another psychotic. He manages to escape through his own time portal, and ends up back in 2035. He's interrogated by the scientists who play for him a distorted voicemail message asserting the connection between the Army of the Twelve Monkeys and the virus. Cole is given another chance to complete his mission and he's sent back in time again, but he accidentally arrives in the middle of a World War I battlefield, and is shot in the leg before being sent back to 1996 again.

During a book signing for her new publication, Dr. Railly meets Dr. Peters (played by David Morse) who speaks of apocalyptic alarmists who represent sane visions while the true lunacy is humanity's gradual destruction of the environment. When Cole and Dr. Railly are eventually reunited, he forces her to drive him to Philadelphia when they learn of the Army's leader Jeffrey Goines (played by Brad Pitt), who was also once in the mental hospital with Cole in 1996, is also the founder, though he denies any involvement and cites that the virus was originated by his virologist father. Meanwhile Dr. Railly discovers evidence of his time travel which she shows him, believing him to be sane. They decide to depart for the Florida Keys before the onset of the plague begins. They soon learn the Army is not the source of the epidemic, but rather an animal rights group whose major act is to release all the animals from the local zoo to create havoc in the streets.

At the airport, Cole leaves a final message with the scientists of 2035, declaring the Army is the wrong direction for the virus and that he won't be returning. Dr. Railly also spots Dr. Peters at the airport, and he's preparing a tour of several cities of the world that match the locations and sequence of the viral outbreaks (in other words, he's the bad guy carrying the virus). Cole's airport dream is now a reality, as he's fatally shot by police while trying to stop Dr. Peters with his own gun. As Cole dies in Dr. Railly's arms, his death is witnessed by a small boy who turns out to be James Cole himself (as a boy).

Because the concept of time travel is so vast with possibilities, it's almost impossible to keep up with all of its theories and conspiracies. 12 MONKEYS takes time travel and explores the nature of memories and their impact on our perceptions of what reality is. Cole's false memories and dreams of the airport shooting are altered every time he dreams it, and it's a complete mental case like Brad Pitt who actually has the false memories. And for ourselves as viewers, our own memories are challenged in not only keeping up with mind-blowing twists and turns, but in completely absorbing what is ultimately an effective and thought-provoking film experience. Like BLADE RUNNER, it's a cold and dark vision of doom and madness, with a hero like Bruce Willis who tries to prevail against the odds of chaos and his own depleted physical condition. Rather than attempting to change the past, as many time travel tales embark on, he instead observes it in order to try and improve the future.

You know, I can't help but wonder if such time travel were possible in real life, what attempts could we make to alter our bleak world today which is currently drowning in its own pandemic fears and chaos of COVID-19? In 12 MONKEYS, there is no hope because the future cannot be changed. I hope we can do better.

Favorite line or dialogue:

James Cole: "It's just like what's happening with us, like the past. The movie never changes. It can't change, but every time you see it, it seems different because you're different. You see different things."

12 ANGRY MEN

(April 1957, U.S.)

Despite my usually detailed memory, I honestly can't remember if I ever read the original play of 12 ANGRY MEN as required reading for middle school or high school English class. I usually never enjoyed any of the required reading in school, but based on the late Sidney Lumet's classic black and white debut feature film, I can't imagine that I would've balked at the idea of reading such a powerful courtroom drama.

On what seems to be the hottest day of the summer in 1950's New York City, Henry Fonda leads a group of twelve jury men deliberating the conviction or acquittal of a young boy accused of stabbing his father to death, and facing the electric chair if convicted. They've been instructed by the judge that if there's any reasonable doubt whatsoever, they're required to return a verdict of not guilty. In the end, their verdict (either way) must be unanimous. In the beginning, Fonda stands alone amidst a sea of convincing evidence to the boy's guilt. This evidence includes the testimony of a neighbor who claims to have witnessed from her window, the boy stab his father, and another neighbor claiming to have heard the defendant threaten to kill his father and then hearing the body hit the floor, and then witnessing the defendant run past his door. The boy's violent past serves to further convince the jury of his immediate guilt. Fonda as Juror #8 is the only one of twelve men who doesn't want to jump to any hasty conclusion and only asks to talk the matters out first before concluding a final verdict.

In a rather step-by-step process, Fonda questions the reliability of the witnesses and also casts doubt on the supposed unique nature of switch blade used as the murder weapon, as he happens to own the same sort of knife. He's just introduced reasonable doubt, and the decision of the remaining eleven jurors must now be examined. This is the point in the film where perhaps it's not impossible to compare the story to Agatha Christie's AND THEN THERE WERE NONE. No murder involved, of course, but one by one, each juror who was so previously set in their own ways of thinking is "picked off" as they now find reason to question their values and morals, thus reversing their conviction of a guilty verdict to that of not guilty.

By the time the day has progressed, and the weather outside has become as loud and stormy as the angry debates and string of arguments inside the deliberation room, each juror, including the most die hard angry Juror #3 (played by Lee J. Cobb) believing that the undesirable accused defendant must die to pay for his anger against his own ungrateful son, has succumb to the questionable evidence and all reasonable doubt until the entire team of jurors stands at the opposite side of the spectrum as compared to how they started out. The boy is found not guilty and the jurors leave the courthouse, perhaps wiser men with a better understanding of their own humanity.

There is traditional drama, and then there's the sort of absorbing drama that manages to create the sort of claustrophobic atmosphere that 12 ANGRY MEN does with its multi use of camera positions and close-ups. One can't help but feel spellbound as we watch these men locked in a small room with no air conditioning slowly begin to unravel at the thought of deliberating any longer than they have to against circumstantial evidence and their own personal prejudices against a minority slum kid they believe to be guilty from the start. Change is key here, as the hearts of twelve men becomes increasingly less angry until what appears to be justice is finally served. Sadly, we're given no hint whatsoever as to just who may have actually killed the boy's father and why. In the end, we may only be left with the prejudices of the time, in which many believed people of the slum to be so bad, that they'd just go around killing each other for no reason. I wonder if we're any wiser today?

Favorite line or dialogue:

Juror #8 (to Juror #3): "Ever since you walked into this room, you've been acting like a self-appointed public avenger! You want to see this boy die because you personally want it, not because of the facts! You're a sadist!"

TRUMAN SHOW, THE

(June 1998, U.S.)

Let me say something right off the bat - I hate reality TV. I mean, I loathe and detest its very existence right down to fiber of my very soul, and to be perfectly honest, I generally have low opinions of people who enjoy it. Who would have thought that back in 1998, two years before CBS's SURVIVOR went on the air, that the concept of following a person's life and activities on television would've ever been more than entertaining fiction on film. Oh, I know that reality entertainment existed long before Peter Weir's little sci-fi comedy-drama of Truman Burbank (played by Jim Carrey) who grows up living an ordinary life that unbeknownst to him, takes place on a gigantic set populated by actors for an international TV show about him, but in my opinion, you don't honestly come to grips with the possibilities of reality (past, present and future) until you've witnessed it on the big screen.

On screen, Truman suspects nothing as he lives his daily existence in the fictional seaside town of Seahaven Island, which in reality, is situated in Hollywood, equipped with state-of-the-art technology to simulate such things as day and night weather conditions, and features more than five thousand hidden cameras documenting Truman's every move (and even sleep). The town is psychologically programmed to condition Truman into never wanting to leave, despite his inner longings to break free and explore the country of Fiji. However, Truman's instilling by the show's producers of his fear of the water through the "death" of his TV father in a boating accident lead him to believe that he lacks the courage to face the water as well as the potential dangers of traveling, thus instilling the virtues of staying put at home. Every other resident of the town, including Truman's own beloved wife Meryl (played by Laura Linney) and best friend Marlon (played by Noah Emmerich) are actors playing a role. The show's creator Christof (played by Ed Harris) stands high in the makeshift moon above the town and seeks to capture Truman's real-life emotions and behavior, thus giving his audience a relatable everyday man (and extremely high TV ratings).

From the moment a spotlight falls mysteriously from the blue sky one morning, Truman suspects that something is not right about his life, and proceeds to take actions to try and figure out what's going on. Despite falling for the beautiful Sylvia during his college years, Truman was intended to fall in love with and marry Meryl. As a result of trying to tell Truman the truth, that his reality was a fake, Sylvia was kicked off the show and believed to be living in Fiji with her (fake) father, thus justifying Truman's longing to flee to that country. Now on the outside of the show, Sylvia is part of a campaign to free Truman from his fake life, thus accusing Christof of destroying Truman's life, which of course, Christof denies. As time and the show go on, mounting evidence including a radio frequency that follows his car and rain water that only falls on him, leads Truman closer to the truth. Even the return of Truman's deceased "fake" father in order to return him to a more controllable state cannot deter him from discovering who and what he really is.

As he begins to sleep in the basement after Meryl leaves him, the TV production crew realizes that Truman's sleeping body is out of their sight, and they begin to suspect something is wrong. They're right. Truman is gone and Christof orders the show's transmission cut while a citywide search for Truman begins, thus leaving TV audiences around the world on the edge of their seats wondering what will become of their ignorant TV hero. Truman is discovered sailing on the fake waters out of Seahaven, determined to conquer his fear of the water. Despite the fact that Truman may drown on live television, Christoff ignores all warnings. Truman persists and sails his boat smack into the wall of the great makeshift dome and finds an exit door. Christof, speaking directly to Truman through a giant speaker system, tries to persuade him to remain, stating that truth doesn't exist in the real world and that only be staying inside his own artificial world, would Truman be safe. Tempted by these words for only a moment, Truman takes a bow and exits, thus sending many audience members into a cheering frenzy on Truman's behalf. Show over. Turn the channel and see what else is on.

Like I previously stated, this is all wonderful motion picture entertainment from the director of DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) and also breaks Jim Carrey out of his insane comedy persona of the 1990s in order to try his hand at some emotional drama. But unfortunately, THE TRUMAN SHOW turned out to be a prelude to what would become an onslaught of reality TV that has plagued the entire 21st century with titles that include SURVIVOR and BIG BROTHER, just to name a couple. But honestly, think about it, and even you too may come to realize that in the real world, there's virtually nothing real about reality TV. Whereas Truman's reality is real to him in fiction, everything that's supposed to compose reality on TV is false - none of what you watch on TV is actually real because it all has the potential to have been scripted and rehearsed before its ever broadcasted. None of those idiots you watch on SURVIVOR are ever in any real danger, because there's a camera crew (and probably a staff doctor) is right there on the island with them (in real life, no one is there to save you if you get into trouble on a deserted island). Still, even as fiction, Truman's story illustrates the power and the hold the media has over the average moron who's willing to be controlled by all of the crap on TV.

And of course, I'm sure it's no accident that the name Christof is so close to Christ, thus giving Ed Harris's character a representative quality of Jesus Christ or even an Antichrist ("Christ-off") who seeks to control the minds of his many followers - in this case, the TV audience with an insatiable lust for the private details of the lives of (so-called) ordinary people in a world filled with celebrity culture.

Anyway you look at it, it's probably a lot easier to see why in the end, I prefer movies over television any day of the week. Thank goodness for that because this blog and my books might not exist otherwise.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Meryl Burbank (holding up a jar of cocoa): "Why don't you let me fix you some of this Mococoa drink? All natural cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicaragua. No artificial sweeteners."
Truman Burbank (looking around): "What the hell are you talking about? Who are you talking to?"

TRUE LIES

(July 1994, U.S.)

I've loved all of James Cameron's theatrical motion pictures since THE TERMINATOR (1984), and I love TRUE LIES, too. It's action-packed, exciting, and funny, to boot. Yet somehow it's the most easily forgettable of all his work. Perhaps it's because it was sandwiched like a filler movie in between two of his biggest hits, TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991) and TITANIC (1997). Perhaps it's because of its overly-humorous tone premise among a body of work that's usually anything but funny. Who knows?


Arnold Schwarzenegger returns for the third time with Cameron to play Harry Tasker who's leading a double life as both a dull computer salesman to his wife Helen (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and his daughter Dana and a secret agent for a United States intelligence agency called Omega Sector. With his fellow agent and comic-relief sidekick Albert (played by Tom Arnold), they start off the movie by infiltrating a foreign party of suspected arms dealers and terrorists in Switzerland in a series of action sequence that practically pay homage to the James Bond film GOLDFINGER. The terrorist leader Salim Abu Aziz (played by Art Milik) heads the group known as "Crimson Jihad" intends to hold America hostage with his newly-acquired nuclear missiles. The action that opens the movie soon dissolves itself into the mundane life of Harry and Helen. When Harry shows up unexpectedly at Helen's office to take her to lunch, he overhears her talking on the phone to a mysterious man named Simon. Convinced Helen is having an affair with him, Harry used his Omega resources to discover that Simon is merely a used car salesman pretending to be a covert undercover agent in order to seduce women into bed, and it looks like Helen is his latest target. Disguised, Harry and his participating team kidnap Helen and Simon. Simon is easily scared off, but during interrogation, Helen confesses that due to Harry's absence, she desperately seeks some adventure in her life, thus hooking up with a fraud like Simon. Harry arranges for Helen to participate in a staged spy mission, where she's required to plan a listening device in the phone at a hotel suite, but not before she has to dance in her bra and underwear to seduce a mysterious figure (who is actually her husband himself). This sequence reveals what a sexy woman Jamie Lee Curtis truly is (or was back then)...

Just as the seduction reaches the point where Helen discovers it's actually Harry behind the entire facade, Aziz's men burst into the hotel room and kidnap them to an island in the Florida Keys, where Aziz reveals his smuggled nuclear warheads and threatens to destroy an American city each week unless the U.S. military withdraws from the Persian Gulf. As his first act, he plants one of the warheads on that deserted island to detonate it, showing his seriousness to the U.S. government. Of course, Harry breaks himself and Helen from from their captors and kicks major ass along the way to their freedom. After hanging from a helicopter and rescuing Helen from a speeding limo toward a gap in a destroyed bridge, the island warhead is observed in its detonation in an almost beautiful sight across the water. But back home, Aziz and his men have taken Dana and taken control of a Miami skyscraper under construction. Harry commandeers one of the U.S. fighter planes and arrives on the scene to rescue his daughter and destroy the bad guys once and for all. A year later, the Tasker family are happily reunited and Helen has joined the Omega Sector alongside Harry.

While TRUE LIES won't exactly be remembered as Cameron's or Schwarzenegger's greatest achievement, the film still entertains with enough action and humor to sustain itself. Arnold can be funny when he wants to, and I suppose we've also learned a thing or two about Curtis - not only with her amazing body, but her ability to adapt herself to humorous situation beyond what she did in TRADING PLACES (1983). Bill Paxton as Simon, is as obnoxious as he can be, reminding us of his panic-stricken persona in Cameron's ALIENS (1986). In the end, as I previously stated, TRUE LIES is fun, but doesn't nearly stand up against Cameron's the greater blockbusters of his impressive career.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Albert (about the fake Simon): "I'm startin' to like this guy. We still gotta kill him. That's a given, you know."

TROY

(May 2004, U.S.)

Let's face it - I'm more or less a product of whatever Hollywood chooses to show me on the big or small screen. I've never read Homer and I know nothing of Greek mythology. What little I know of Helen of Troy comes from the movies and the fact that Diane Kruger as Helen in Wolfgang Peterson's epic historical war drama is one of the most breathtakingly-beautiful woman I've ever seen on screen, though what she's doing with a boy like Orlando Bloom is beyond me. Condensed into just a few weeks in screen time, this is supposedly the entire story of the long Trojan War, in which the battle between the Greek armies of King Agamemnon of Mycenae and King Triopas of Thessaly is quickly averted when the great warrior Achilles (played by Brad Pitt), fighting for Agamemnon (played by Brian Cox), defeats Boagrius, Triopas' champion, in single combat after Achilles is initially absent from the battle. Prince Hector of Troy (played by Eric Bana) and his younger brother Paris (Bloom) negotiate a peace treaty with Menelaus, King of Sparta. However, Paris is sleeping with with Menelaus' wife, Queen Helen (Kruger), and smuggles her aboard their home-bound vessel (not a smart move, as it turns out). Menelaus meets with Agamemnon, his elder brother, and asks him to help take the city of Troy. Agamemnon agrees, as conquering Troy will give him control of the Aegean Sea.

In Troy, King Priam (played by Peter O'Toole in one of his final film roles) is dismayed when Hector and Paris introduce Helen, but welcomes her and decides to prepare for war.
The Greeks invade and take the Trojan beach, thanks largely to Achilles and his Myrmidons. They claim Briseis — a priestess and the cousin of Paris and Hector — as a prisoner afterwards. He is angered when Agamemnon spitefully takes her from him, and decides that he won't aid Agamemnon in the siege. That night in the temple of Troy, Priam discusses a strategy on how would they defend the city from the Greeks. Paris planned to duel Menelaus since he abducted Helen from Menelaus, which caused the war to occur. The Trojan and Greek armies meet outside the walls of Troy, and during a parley, Paris offers to duel Menelaus personally for Helen's hand in exchange for the city being spared. Agamemnon, intending to take the city regardless of the outcome, accepts. The fight is rather a pathetic one, in which Menelaus wounds Paris, causing him to cower behind Hector. When Menelaus attempts to kill Paris despite his victory, he himself is killed by Hector.

On Odysseus' insistence, Agamemnon gives the order to fall back. In the camp after Ajax and Menelaus were cremated, Agamemnon and Odysseus argue as to why they lost the battle. He gives Briseis to the Greek soldiers for their amusement, but Achilles saves her from them. Later that night, Briseis sneaks into Achilles' quarters to kill him; instead, she falls for him and they become lovers. Achilles then resolves to leave Troy, much to the dismay of Patroclus, his cousin and protégé.

Agamemnon finally declares that he will take Troy regardless of the cost. Odysseus concocts a plan to infiltrate the city. After seeing a carving of a horse by a Greek soldier, he has the Greeks build a gigantic wooden horse as a peace offering and abandon the Trojan beach, hiding their ships in a nearby cove. Despite objections from Paris who requests for it to be burned down, Priam orders the horse be brought into the city after Archeptolemus views it as a gift intended for calming the gods.

(at this point, if you're not thinking of MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL as I do, then you simply have no sense of humor!).

A Trojan scout later finds the Greek ships hiding in the cove, but he's shot down as he tries to alert the city. Greeks hiding inside the horse emerge, attack the sleeping Trojans and open the city gates for the Greek army, commencing the Sack of Troy. While Andromache and Helen guide the Trojans to safety through the tunnel, Paris gives the Sword of Troy to Aeneas, instructing him to protect the Trojans and find them a new home. Agamemnon kills Priam and captures Briseis, who then kills Agamemnon using a concealed knife in her hand. Achilles fights his way through the city and reunites with Briseis. Paris, seeking to avenge his brother, shoots an arrow through Achilles' heel and then several into his body. Achilles removes all the arrows but the one in his heel (ah, so that's what the expression means), and then bids farewell to Briseis, and watches her flee with Paris before dying. In the aftermath, Troy is finally taken by the Greeks and a funeral is held for Achilles, where Odysseus personally cremates his body.

(Wow! This is a lot of Greek names to keep track of. Good thing I watched this film before writing about it).

Met with only mixed critical reviews, I can't deny that TROY epic has its own rightful place alongside others of the type as BEN-HUR (1959), SPARTACUS (1960), and GLADIATOR (2000), in my opinion. As much as anything like it, it's an entertaining spectacle with some solid acting, though it may lack any real emotional payoff, particularly of the love between Helen and Paris, which is what initially triggers the entire "temper tantrum" that occupies the story. Brad Pitt and Eric Bana are modern actors in ancient roles, thus bringing a certain level of complexity that may be necessary in a 21st century production. Orlando Bloom remains a boy, and Helen Kruger...well, all I can honestly say is...DAMN, SHE'S HOT!

As for director Wolfgang Peterson, I can only say it's too bad the only American film he's made since TROY was the pointless remake POSEIDON in 2006. I mean, this is the same man who gave us such exciting thrillers as DAS BOOT (1981), IN THE LINE OF FIRE (1993) and AIR FORCE ONE (1997). But maybe he'll surprise us again someday...maybe.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Achilles: "Myrmidons! My brothers of the sword! I would rather fight beside you than any army of thousands! Let no man forget how menacing we are! We are lions! Do you know what's there, waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it! It's yours!"