STRIPES

(June 1981, U.S.)

When I was fifteen years-old in the summer of 1982, I had a bunk mate at sleep away camp named Michael W. whose favorite movie was STRIPES. I knew this because he made it well known verbally, but he would also repeatedly quote lines from the movie. I can't begin to tell you how many times he would get in my face and say, "Look if you don't want me in your camp, then kick me out! But get off my back!" and "Any of you guys call me Michael, and I'll kill ya!" Hell, Michael even got another kid at camp who didn't speak much English to sing a little of "Da Doo Ron Ron" without knowing why he was singing it. Well, all of this wouldn't have bothered me so much if it weren't for the fact that I still hadn't seen STRIPES by 1982, so I had no idea what Michael was talking about. I didn't actually see the movie until November 27, 1983 when it premiered on the ABC Sunday Night Movie, and of course, that was all edited-for-television. Still, it also reminds me why underage children should be allowed to see R-rated comedies. It's because children will find anything and everything funny about them. Even on television, STRIPES had me in stitches from all of its wild and outrageous antics from a wise-ass like Bill Murray as John Winger (whom, by 1983, I'd only seen on screen in MEATBALLS and TOOTSIE) trying to make his way in the United States Army.

This is not to suggest that STRIPES still isn't a funny movie, because it is. It just doesn't have me in stitches the way it did when I was a kid. In fact, today there are times in the film when I find the wit and sarcasm of Harold Ramis as John's best friend Russell Ziskey more entertaining than ol' Bill himself. But even as a kid, I looked for any opportunity to be drawn into the world of R-rated films, even if it meant only watching and taping them off of TV at a time before I could afford to buy my own uncut, unedited VHS movies. At sixteen, my hormones were raging and I enjoyed the opportunity of getting even a momentary glimpse of P.J. Soles's gorgeous ass behind her sexy nightie as she stood up from inside the wooden chest after having sex with Bill Murray, which he found "interesting"...

Of course, after having done a little bit of extra research for this post, little did I know that we the audience have still been cheated all these years by extra graphic nude scenes of P.J. Soles that apparently never made the final cut of the film (those bastards!)...

The entire basic training portion of STRIPES still holds up well because a man like John Winger, who never takes anything seriously in life, is not one to ever survive the strict disciplinary routines and structure of the army, particularly when he has a man like drill Sergeant Hulka (played by the late Warren Oates) up his ass about every little thing he does or says. One can only imagine and compare men like the Marx Brothers or Cheech & Chong in a similar predicament to appreciate the full value of the film's humor. Unfortunately, from the moment these misfits of the army arrive in Italy, the film attempts to turn entertaining comedy into an almost spiritual adventure where the pride and honor of America reigns supreme against our adversaries of the Soviet Army because a bunch of goofball soldiers (even John Candy) inevitably learn the valuable lesson of what it means to join the U.S. Army and "Be All You Can Be". It is, after all, this vintage TV commercial that first attracts John during the film's opening credits. But I suppose I prefer the consistency of John Winger as the lazy bum who joins the army as a quick and easy solution after losing his job, his car, his apartment and his girlfriend in just a matter of two hours time rather than the John Winger who decides to become a true American patriot. I suppose in my opinion, military patriotism is best left to Sylvester Stallone in the '80s and Tom Hanks in the '90s (SAVING PRIVATE RYAN) and not Bill Murray of 1981.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Army Recruiter: "Now, are either of you homosexuals?"
John Winger: "You mean, like, flaming, or...?"
Recruiter: "Well, it's a standard question we have to ask."
Russell Ziskey: "No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn."
John: "Yeah, would they send us someplace special?"