ST. ELMO'S FIRE

(June 1985, U.S.)

ST. ELMO'S FIRE was released in the summer of 1985, the summer before I was due to leave for my freshman year of college at the State University of New York at Buffalo. In effect, I saw the film as a prerequisite that would prepare me for the social pleasures and anxieties I might come to expect during and after my post high school education. Because of that presumption, I love ST. ELMO'S FIRE and everything it tried to teach me. I also damn ST. ELMO'S FIRE for all of the delusions it provided me. Yes, I said delusions! For all of its insight and wisdom into the lives and loves of these post-college group of friends, it also gave me false expectations which ultimately lead to great disappointment. Let me attempt to explain - because of Joel Schumacher's perfectly-timed "Brat Pack" film, these are the fantasies that I developed in my naive, little head before going to college...

- Like Kevin and Kirby (Andrew McCarthy and Emilio Estevez) & Leslie and Jules (Alley Sheedy and Demi Moore), I thought that my college roommate and I would be best friends forever.
- Like Kirby and Dale Biberman (played by Andie MacDowell), I thought that I'd enjoy rewarding infatuations and sexual encounters with older female students (perhaps even my resident assistant, presuming she was a girl, of course).
- Like Leslie and Alec (played by Judd Nelson), I thought that I'd meet the love of my life at college and eventually marry her.

Here's what the reality of it turned out to be...

- My freshman year roommate was an absolute dick and I wished nothing more than for him to die a horrible, painful death! Things got so bad between us, that I eventually moved to another dorm after just one semester.
- I did develop a rather unnatural crush on my resident assistant who was two years older than me. Sadly, I don't think she saw me as anything more than a goofy kid in her eyes. Still, she was very nice to me and we managed to stay friends for a few years (thank you, Ingrid!).
- I didn't meet the woman who would eventually become my wife and the mother of my son for another thirteen years. So much for the power of college love! Perhaps Kevin's repeated cynicism toward love was right on ("Love sucks!")!

So what does all this say about me and who I was back then? Did I rely too much on the power of the movies to guide me through life's experiences or was I just simply an unrealistic twit who didn't have both feet on Earth's reality? Regardless of the answer, there was no doubt I'd developed some sort of meaningful connection to the group of seven young adults in ST. ELMO'S FIRE. I marveled at the possibility of close friends managing to stay close friends through all of life's pains and difficulties that followed the hell that was known as high school (so well depicted in front of my eyes on the screen in John Hughes' THE BREAKFAST CLUB just a few months before). From the moment the film opened and we watched them walk hand-in-hand in graduation cap and gown, we knew somehow that these people were the real deal. Unfortunately, being the "real deal" means that you deal with all the shit that comes with being such close friends, including confusions about love, sex, relationships, commitment and even the act of betrayal. To watch Billy Hicks and Wendy Beamish (played by Rob Lowe and Mare Winningham) is an exercise in confusion in itself, though I can't decide if my confusion lies in the fact that an otherwise popular and good looking stud of the '80s like Billy is even attracted to an otherwise bland, inexperienced virgin like Wendy or if it lies in the fact that a girl with sense and brains like Wendy continues to keep herself attached to a dope like Billy. Perhaps she says it best when she tells Leslie, "It's like smoking. I try to quit, but every once in a while, I need a hit."

But even as life as seen through the eyes of others is confusing, there's always someone like Jules. Demi Moore, whom I'd known only as a regular on ABC-TV's GENERAL HOSPITAL for a while, perfectly represented every fantasy I ever had about college girls, or rather the wild party girl you could always look forward to seeing at the local frat house who just might provide you with more than a kiss if she had enough to drink. And yet, while Jules is wild, crazy, irresponsible, and the cause of her friend's constant worrying (she's never naked, unfortunately. If you want to see Demi like that, you need to watch ABOUT LAST NIGHT and STRIPTEASE)...

(Sorry. I couldn't resist!).

...she's ultimately always the one who will come to their aid the moment she's needed, even if it's something as simple and comforting as a supportive arm around their shoulder when they've been hurt. She's the one who can stay up all night talking if you want to and the one who'll tell you the truth to your face (even when she thinks that Kevin is gay) because that's the person she is. Yet, though all of her outward strength and sheer "fabulousness", she's the one by the end of the film we discover is the most flawed and hurts the most. That may be predictable and even cliché, but there's also something irresistibly human about it, particularly when it's the film's persistent screw-up, Billy, who comes to her rescue at her most desperate and painful moment. Ultimately, the message of friendship and loyalty (no matter what) is clear throughout the film, and when it's over, we're left with a sense of calm and reassurance in the knowledge (whether fantasy or reality) that if we're lucky, we'll go through life with the kind of friends you keep close by, the friends that matter (in a THE BIG CHILL meets THE BREAKFAST CLUB sort of way), even when it's time to finally stop acting like kids at our favorite bar and finally grow up.

That in mind, I dedicate this post to my friends from college; in real life, on social media or whatever shape or form they may exist today. Thank you all for still being in my life, one way or another. It means something.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Wendy Beamish: "Jules, it sounds like you have your boss wrapped around your little finger."
Jules Van Patten: "Did I ever tell you what he like me to do with my little finger?"

(Sorry. I couldn't resist that, either!)