THUNDERBALL

(December 1965, U.S.)

James Bond aficionados greater than myself (like my friend in California, Richard K.) will give you every reason in the world why GOLDFINGER (1964) should be and is the greatest Bond film in the history of the fifty-seven year franchise. Their reasons will be valid, well-defended and clearly deserving of respect. Unfortunately, leave it to me to stand alone as a minority in the great scheme of things. When I was a kid, my favorite Bond film was MOONRAKER (1979), and I'm sure that would have many shaking their heads is wonder and disbelief. But then I got older and (hopefully) more mature in judging what makes a great Bond film beyond the outer space action that made its mark on the cusp of the success of STAR WARS. And guess what - the result still wasn't GOLDFINGER. It was THUNDERBALL. I will do my best to explain why my own reasons are valid, well-defended and deserving of respect.

In effect, THUNDERBALL, in my opinion, has everything I hold to be true and dear in any James Bond film. It begins with Sean Connery (the best Bond, of course) and his Aston Martin DB5 making its second appearance on film. It features an opening credits song by Tom Jones with a little more epic bite than its three predecessors, and of course, an original score by longtime (and best) Bond composer John Barry. It continues to expose us to the threat of SPECTRE and the global armageddon they're capable of. It features the classic Bond girl Domino (played by Claudine Auger), who in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful and well-built ladies to grace the screen with her shapely curves and large breasts very often glistening wet...

Not nearly as self-sufficient and hard edge as say, Pussy Galore, she is, in fact really, nothing more than James's "kept woman", as she describes her relationship with Bond villain and operative Number Two with SPECTRE, Emilio Largo (played by Adolfo Celi). Largo himself is one of the more colorful threats Bond is pitted against and perhaps it merely begins with the sinister physical appearance of the single, black patch over one eye (think also of Snake Pliskin in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK). The threat itself by SPECTRE is, by far, the most sinister in that the organization has devised a diabolical plot to steal a strategic jet bomber loaded with two atomic bombs and hold them for a monetary ransom demand against Great Britain. The jet's pilot François Derval has been murdered and replaced with an exact double through plastic facial surgery. The rest of the crew poisoned, Derval's double flies the jet to the Bahamas, landing it in the shallow waters near Largo's ship, the Disco Volante. SPECTRE scuba divers camouflage the plane and retrieve the atomic bombs and then proceed to dispose of the false pilot, eliminating the key connection between himself and his superiors.

Like nearly every other Bond film, this film excites the mind and the senses with the traditional action, thrills, chases, gun battles and promiscuous sex we've come to expect and enjoy since it all started in 1962. For myself, however, what THUNDERBALL delivers for me above all others is the visual excitement of the world underwater, both in its beauty off the islands of Nassau, and the climactic battle between good and evil with knives, spear guns and man eating sharks. THUNDERBALL is, in fact, the first Bond film in the series to feature an epic, well-choreographed battle under Terence Young's direction (he did DR. NO and FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, too). It's also, I might add, the only Bond film in the entire franchise (as far as I'm aware) in which our hero, the great James Bond himself, actually cries out for help when he's strapped on an out of control spinal traction machine. In the end, the plane is found, the bombs are recovered and Largo is defeated (blown up is more accurate), but we're still aware that the threat of SPECTRE's existence still remains, and will remain through the next three Bond films to follow, and even be reborn in the 2015 film SPECTRE with Daniel Craig.

Agree with me or not, THUNDERBALL, if nothing else, cures any hints of dullness that may be experienced with the first three films. Sean Connery has the character in perfect form by now, establishing himself not only as the confident and heroic English spy, but forever as the connoisseur playboy gentleman who loves his cars, his women, his guns and is also seemingly undefeatable at the game of Baccarat (he's played that game a lot). Even the inevitable puns we've come to expect in these films is spoken with just a little more quickness and to the point, even when Bond himself declares, "He got the point." when killing Vargas with a spear gun. Aside from the physical beauty of Claudine Auger, there's also the femme fatale wickedness of fiery SPECTRE agest Fiona Volpe (played by Italian actess Luciana Paluzzi), who's just as busty, pleasurable and delicious to gawk at as Domino is...

Above all, THUNDERBALL is, in my humble Bond opinion, the best and most epic film beginning a series of filming and storytelling traditions that would continue under the direction of others like Lewis Gilbert, John Glen and Martin Campbell. Is it any wonder that when they chose to return Sean Connery to the famous role in the 1983 dud NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, they chose to remake THUNDERBALL?

And now, if you'll all kindly direct your attention to the comments below, Richard K. will humbly and faithfully explain why my opinion of THUNDERBALL being the best James Bond film ever is incorrect. Read carefully, because he may just be right, even if I don't agree with him. Cheers, my friend!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Fiona Volpe: "Vanity, Mr Bond, something you know so much about."
James Bond: "My dear girl, don't flatter yourself! What I did this evening was for Queen and country! You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"
Fiona: "But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman, and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing! She repents, and turns to the side of right and virtue...but not this one! What a blow it must have been, you having a failure!"
James: "Well, can't win them all."