STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI

(May 1983, U.S.)

On Friday May 27, 1983, my father declared that he insisted me and my younger brother go see RETURN OF THE JEDI immediately after school and before we headed out to the Hamptons for the weekend, his reason being that he didn't want the two of us to bother him about seeing the movie all summer, which is exactly what we did to the poor man three years prior with THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (yes, the man could make sense once in a while!). Like every other fan of the galaxy far, far away, I spent months waiting in anticipation for the saga to conclude the cliffhanger we were left with at the end of EPISODE V. When JEDI finally opened, it played at the recently renovated triplex theater in my hometown of Great Neck, Long Island. The local neighborhood movie theater was packed to the brim with kids and I prepared myself for another spectacular movie in a saga that began six years ago.

What happened over the course of the next two hours astonished me. While there were notable scenes of real intense action and space battles, something just wasn’t right about this new movie. The details are forthcoming, but what I honestly believe happened to me that day in that movie theater in that town was that I learned for the first time in my young life that the familiarity of what was previously such a miraculous element of action and fantasy the first two times did not necessarily guarantee a good movie by the third go-around. The new STAR WARS movie was flawed, and flawed badly, in my opinion, and I discovered that I now possessed a higher and more mature level of criticism toward what I watched on screen than when I was a child. Great films and franchises of the past like STAR WARS, SUPERMAN, PSYCHO, JAWS and even SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER didn’t necessarily mean their follow-ups of the ‘1980s would continue to be great, because as I’d soon learn that fateful summer of 1983, SUPERMAN III, JAWS 3-D, PSYCHO II and STAYING ALIVE were just awful movies. The tide had just turned with RETURN OF THE JEDI, and not necessarily for the better. Movies, by my perception, would now be approached more carefully, more critically and with an altered frame of mind. Not everything I watched would be so good at the time I watched it, as was often the case when I was a kid.

When I was in college, I had a design professor who would always begin her critiques with everything she liked about our project presentations before moving onto what she didn't like about them. Out of respect and fond memory for her, I shall do the same thing for RETURN OF THE JEDI. To begin with, the visual and special effects seem greatly improved and updated since 1977, even during a time when CGI was still many years away. The speeder bike chase through the forests of Endor is pretty awesome looking! The space battle above Endor is, in my opinion, the most spectacular battle in the entire STAR WARS saga. In fact, there are two shots following Lando Calrissian's announcement of, "Fighters coming in", that still take my breath away even after thirty-five years...

There is one final positive point I can raise with this film. Let me take you back to when I first launched this movie blog back in April 2010. One of the earliest points I raised was that I did not embrace movie Special Editions, Final Cuts or Director's Cuts. There were two exceptions, however. The first was James Cameron's THE ABYSS and the great improvements that were made when he re-released his longer cut in 1994. The second is...you guessed it...the 1997 Special Edition of RETURN OF THE JEDI. If for no other reason, the new version does away with that obnoxious "Yub-yub" victory song by the Ewoks during the final celebration following the destruction of the second Death Star, though I also enjoy the way the film concludes by tying in all the planets we've come to know throughout the entire saga (up until EPISODE VI, anyway).

That, I'm afraid, may be the only true samples of credit I can give to Lucas's third and final chapter to the original trilogy. Don't get me wrong - I own the film as part of the Blu-Ray trilogy pack and I still watch it every once in a while. I mean, how can I not? When you've watched EPISODES I through V, you've pretty much committed yourself to the entire package, whether you like it or not. But as I said before, JEDI is greatly flawed, and I was aware of it from the moment I watched it for the first time at the age of sixteen in 1983.

To begin with, there are just too many redundant points from the first two episodes. Let's start with the fact that despite it being "half eaten", as I like to put it, we are experiencing the lack of originality of a second Death Star. Could writers George and Lawrence Kasdan honestly think of nothing better for this new film? Next we have just another mundane, run of the mill lightsaber duel between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader again, and not nearly as intense and exciting as their first one at Cloud City. In fact, despite the fact that JEDI is supposed to take place only mere months after EMPIRE, Vader appears to have gotten pathetically older and weaker. There's also a constant amount of recycling of John Williams's musical themes from the first two, with only the occasional break to feature some softer melodies as themes of the Ewoks and the tender moments between Luke and his newly-discovered twin sister, Princess Leia. And since I mention the Ewoks, let me just say that I consider their entire existence an obnoxious comedy relief element that makes Jar-Jar Binks look well educated and scholarly, and Sesame Street creatures look mature. As for my reaction to Leia's less-than-horrified reaction to Luke telling her that she's his sister, and in effect, Darth Vader is her father, too, well...I can only say that my reaction is very much the same to many others when we say, "Really, Leia? Somehow, you always knew?? Did you know when you decided to lip-lock with your brother in EMPIRE??" And while I love the battle in space above Endor, the battle taking place on the ground suffers greatly because I don't feel there's one believable moment in it! We are meant to believe and accept so many points that I consider implausible, from the fact that despite their thick armor and helmets, the stormtroopes are easily defeated by the Ewoks and their sticks and stones, to the fact that despite all of the laser fire and destruction taking place in the forest, only one Ewok is seemingly killed in the entire battle (seriously???)! Add to that Chewbacca's stupid Tarzan yell as he and fellow Ewoks swing above one of the Empire's walkers, you're left with an entire sequence that just seems to fall flat on its ass!

Let's now get into character development, or the lack there of. See-Threepio has become truly feminine to the point of being gay, with lines like "Goodness, gracious, me!" and screaming, "Come b-a-a-a-ck!" to Artoo-Deetoo like a little girl! Darth Vader has become, excuse my frankness, a real pussy, as he's constantly kissing the Emperor's ass with lines like, "Yes, Master?" and "As you wish". There is no way this is the same dark lord that took pleasure in choking the hell out others in the first two films. What the hell happened to your balls, Darth?? Princess Leia and Han Solo have, in effect, outlived their characters as they seem to do nothing more than prod along in their mission to deactivate the energy shield on Endor (thirty-two years later, they would prove that opinion of their characters wrong in THE FORCE AWAKENS, in which they totally redeemed themselves), leaving the true story of JEDI as that of the Skywalker family only. Finally, and there's no way to say this in a kind manner...RETURN OF THE JEDI has, without a doubt, the worst acting and the worst dialogue I've ever had to sit through. Some of that bad dialogue is actually repeated from EMPIRE, particularly Yoda's repeated warnings to Luke about the Dark Side of the Force while on his death bed.

Finally, and this may be one of the more important points considered by many STAR WARS fans, especially the horny male ones, there's Carrie Fisher and the whole slave girl, metal bikini thing. I can only say from the point of the art of motion picture making, this has to be one of the cheapest things George Lucas ever did, and I'm quite surprised that Fisher agreed to do it. It's almost a shame that after a long career of not only Princess Leia, but notable moments in the '80s that included THE BLUES BROTHERS, HANNAH AND HER SISTER and WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, the late Carrie Fisher may only be best remembered for this...

Again, don't get me wrong! I'm a horny male myself and I'm hardly complaining about Carrie Fisher showing off her tits and ass back in the '80s before she eventually gained a ton of weight in the '90s. But from a more mature perspective, I always felt Carrie's STAR WARS beauty was better captured in this final moment from the first film...

But, hey, that's me...and maybe I'm not alone in my opinion. I hope I'm not.

And so, thus ended what seemed like the end of the mighty STAR WARS saga...for the next sixteen years, anyway.

Favorite line or dialogue (and believe me, this is a hard thing to decide, considering how much I think the dialogue sucks!):

The Emperor: "Your hate has made you powerful. Now fulfill your destiny, and take you're father's place by my side!"
Luke Skywalker (throwing his lightsaber aside): "Never. I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
The Emperor: "So be it...Jedi!"

STAR WARS: EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

(May 1980, U.S.)

Like STAR WARS before this, I shall continue to be as personal as I can with this legendary sequel, which by this time had us knee deep in Lucas's new title format of episode numbers for his continuing space opera. But let's face it - you already know the story that follows the continuing adventures of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewie, the droids, Jedi Master-Frank Oz-controlled-puppet Yoda, Lando Calrissian and Darth Vader's obsession with capturing Luke to try and turn him to the Dark Side of the Force. Still, let's go back to the year 1980...

Try to imagine a time before social media and entertainment news websites like TMZ existed to give us the latest dirt and lowdown on movies and celebrities. There was a time when, if it wasn’t printed in the newspaper or a magazine or revealed on TV at the behest of the studio, secrets and inside information on a movie were only available through rumor and speculation, and believe me when I tell you that there was just as much of that sort of leaking going on without social media. During the immediate success of STAR WARS, fans already wanted to know more about what was next, and they’d listen to it from any source, even their own mouths. From as early as September 1977, when ABC aired THE MAKING OF STAR WAR, the late Carrie Fisher told us of her understanding that the next movie would take place (partially) on an ice planet. If you were one of the few people who actually watched CBS’s STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL in November 1978 (I missed it), then you may recall (though you would’ve been unaware of it at the time) an animated Boba Fett, a future character to come. More than just these bits of information, fans wanted to know what the next movie would be titled. The first presumption was that it would simply be called STAR WARS II; a logical enough assumption for people who didn’t know a thing about the mind of George Lucas. The next speculation was that it would be based on the 1978 sci-fi novel SPLINTER OF THE MIND'S EYE by Alan Dean Foster, the first original full-length STAR WARS follow-up novel. These early rumors were finally laid to rest in August 1979 when the re-release movie poster for the original film announced the “coming attractions for “THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK”, the continuing saga of STAR WARS.” Now we knew. We just had to sit back and wait a whole ten months before we’d be back in the theater again to visit that fantastic galaxy far, far away for the second chapter. The release of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK wasn’t just the anticipation of a world I was already head-over-heels obsessed with, but also the cinematic escape I needed more than ever now during what was a very stressful summer during my childhood. So I waited as patiently as I could for my turn at the movies to experience the new STAR WARS movie.

Released in May 1980, the secrets of EMPIRE were impossible to keep from the moment it opened. By Monday morning following its opening weekend, it seemed as if every kid in my grade had seen the movie already (some of them twice) except me. It was impossible not to walk the school corridors without hearing kids talking about it, and with that, came the unavoidable fact that these same kids couldn’t keep their damn, little mouths shut! As a result, I learned of the mind-blowing secret that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father, months before I’d see it unfold for myself. I also learned that Vader was actually a deformed human. Call me ignorant, but for three years, I’d actually labored under the presumption that he was a robot. Learning he was actually a man behind the mask felt like more of a shock than him being Luke’s father. Apparently, Luke was going to lose his hand, too. By the time the movie was in theaters for only a month, I knew all of its secrets, like it or not (definitely not!). Because of long ticket lines and repeated sell-outs, it would be months before I finally got to see the new movie for myself.

Had I bothered to read Time magazine at the age of thirteen, I might’ve seen the May 19, 1980 issue with Darth Vader on the cover. My father subscribed to Newsweek instead, so I didn’t see it until much later. Had I seen it though, I’d have learned beforehand that Lucas had introduced a new element to his beloved saga in which the second chapter was now titled EPISODE V (this was actually one piece of information school kids hadn’t blabbed about, or perhaps I just neglected to hear it)...

Wait! If this new movie was EPISODE V, then what did that make STAR WARS? There was no EPISODE IV attached to it when it was first released and subsequently re-released after that (that technicality, however, was rectified when it was re-released again in 1981, Mr. Lucas clearly covering his ass). By the time I'd inevitably seen EMPIRE twice on the big screen (again in 1981), I and others like me were left with burning questions. Was Darth Vader really Luke’s father? What would happen to Han Solo frozen in carbonite who was being delivered to Jabba the Hutt by Boba Fett? What was to become of the entire Rebel Alliance as they continued to evade the Empire? We could only wait another three years to find out.

It’s hard to believe that when EMPIRE was released back in May 1980, it received only mixed reviews from film critics. Today, ask any fan or critic and they’ll likely tell you it’s the best film of the entire saga (though I still prefer the first film), as well as one of the greatest sequels of all time. It’s certainly one of the darkest and most thought-provoking installments of the saga. With the exception of Yoda’s introduction and childish antics, there’s very little camp or fluff. The performances are stronger, more serious and taken to greater emotional levels, particularly that of Mark Hamill as his character continues to learn of his abilities and ultimate destiny. The middle part of this three-act structure, which has less of the comic book feel of the first film, is still filled with the kind of movie magic, imagery and technological proficiency that Lucas wants to treat us to. Taking over the director’s chair for this chapter, Irvin Kershner’s version of what is still Lucas’ creative brainchild, gives the film a more epic dimension and more mature aspect to an already philosophical and mythical premise. His sequel for this universe is darker, harder and more cynical than the lighter, fairy tale pace of STAR WARS, which somewhat limits how far and how fast the adventure travels. Events in EMPIRE take place all over the galaxy, all the while maintaining the imposing theme that Darth Vader is determined to find Luke Skywalker, though we don’t fully understand why until that climactic moment during their lightsaber duel. Even while Lucas is deliberately keeping information from us, he also knows exactly when to supply some, when necessary. Whether you find this irritating or enthralling is completely up to you.

Speaking for a moment on the job done to the film for the 1997 Special Edition, I can only ask this question: did Lucas really feel he needed to go back and mess with it? I can almost condone his actions for the first film because there were specific deleted scenes that had to be omitted from the final print, including Han Solo’s meeting with Jabba the Hutt and the character of Biggs Darklighter and his friendship with Luke Skywalker. For the second film, however, I can only define Lucas’s actions as that of a spoiled child who refuses to let go of his favorite toy without a fight. His cuts, edits and changes for the Special Edition are, in my opinion, not only deplorable decisions, but also an act of rape to a product that need never have been violated. Again, thank goodness for the working VCR in my life and the untouched 1995 digitally remastered videotape version of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Darth Vader: "The Force is with you, young Skywalker...but you are not a Jedi yet!"

(and thus, begins the long-awaited and greatest lightsaber duel in the entire STAR WARS saga!)

STAR WARS

(May 1977, U.S.)

This is it! The big one! But before I even get started on my post for the one movie that's been discussed, debated and picked apart by every fan out there with a keyboard and an opinion, take careful notice of what I've done here: no Roman numeral or Episode number. The name of this movie is simply called STAR WARS, as it was when we first discovered it back in 1977. Take notice also that I do not begin the saga as the story plays out chronologically, beginning with THE PHANTOM MENACE and little boy Anakin. History is not meant to be screwed with, and history dictates that STAR WARS came first before the entire saga got completely turned upside down on its galactic ass!

What shall I say about the most spectacular space fantasy film of all time that hasn't been said before time and time again? Do I even need bother to describe to you the legendary tale of the farm boy hero, the royal princess, the renegade smuggler and his Wookie sidekick, the wise, old Jedi knight who fought in the Clone Wars, the beloved droids, and the evil dark Lord of the Sith? Of course I don't! You who are reading my blog now very likely know STAR WARS like the back of your own hand and such semantics and details would be futile. To be of my generation, of this generation - hell, to be alive and breathing in the world today is to know (and hopefully love!) STAR WARS! So, I think the best way I can pay tribute to this legendary motion picture is to get as personal with you as I possibly can.

That being said, let me ask you a question - when and where did you first see STAR WARS? Believe it or not, I’ve asked that very question to others on social media and the answers I’ve received are often quite detailed. Many remember the very day they first saw the new movie back in '77, the exact movie theater they saw it in, how long they waited in line to get inside, whether or not the show was sold out, and how long they waited before seeing it again...and again...and again. For those of us who grew up in the late ‘70s, STAR WARS was a cinematic rite of passage to a world that never existed before. If JAWS (1975) got the summer blockbuster up on its feet, then STAR WARS surely cemented it into the foundation of our lives. Those of us who were there at the very beginning devoted six years of our lives to the original trilogy. We saw the movies, we read the books, we listened to the soundtracks and we begged our parents to buy as all those Kenner action figures and other assorted toys. It was a simple stand-alone movie that opened on May 25, 1977 without fanfare, without marketing hype or word-of-mouth. It’s hard to imagine now, but it was also a movie that could’ve easily bombed. Up until then, sci-fi movies for my generation were grim pieces of dystopian societies like the PLANET OF THE APES, THX-1138, SOYLENT GREEN and LOGAN'S RUN. Even Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY was a real thinking piece that didn’t necessarily paint a positive picture for man’s future and his relationships with computer machinery and artificial intelligence. STAR WARS was a much more fun time at the movies, but it would’ve been difficult to know that just by looking at the movie poster and newspaper ads. In fact, if you really paid attention to the movie's earliest ads, you didn't even see what became its infamous tag line, A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Instead, you likely saw this...

Hard to believe forty-one years later, isn't it. But by June of the summer of '77, the word was out – you had to see STAR WARS and you had to see it now! That being the case, I’ll describe the conditions in which I almost saw STAR WARS for the first time (yes, I said almost). My family and I were still living in our Long Island home when the movie opened. Across the street lived my best friend in the neighborhood, David H. It was a Saturday afternoon and we were playing together at his house. His father asked if we’d like to go to a movie. The answer was obvious, but David H. and I needed to agree on what to see. He suggested something new that was playing at the local movie theater called STAR WARS. I rejected the idea for the simple reason that I’d never heard of it before. I asked if there were any monster movies playing anywhere (perhaps I wanted his answer to be GODZILLA VS MEGALON). He told me that there were monsters in STAR WARS, but I held my conviction and continued to reject the idea (ten year-old boys are not necessarily smart ten year-old boys). I felt determined that whatever we saw should be something familiar to the both of us. We finally came to an agreement and went to see (damn, I can hardly bring myself to say this!) FOR THE LOVE OF BENJI. Yes, I actually opted out of seeing the newest and greatest space fantasy blockbuster of all time so I could watch a silly sequel about a little, brown dog wandering an island in Greece. What David H. must’ve thought of me, I can’t even imagine!

It eventually gets better. Jump ahead two months to August. My father announces that he’s finally taking me, my younger brother and my grandmother to see STAR WARS. I was happy, of course, but I wasn’t exactly jumping out of my skin because I still wasn’t fully aware of what I was about to see because my access to public word-of-mouth and marketing hype wasn’t too great. We drove nearly an hour to a neighborhood theater in the Hamptons, got our tickets and seats easily, and without waiting or hassle. When the lights went out and the movie’s opening crawl began, I remember feeling disappointed because I didn’t like starting off a movie that required me to read what the story was about. That disappointment lasted only through the extent of the crawl because as soon as the camera panned downward and the great Star Destroyer shot its way across the screen above the planet of Tatooine, my eyes widened, my mouth opened and I was caught in its grip. The age of ten felt was surely the perfect age to experience STAR WARS. It was a glorious age when a little boy started to break away from childish entertainment and discover the true meaning of heroes and adventure on screen. The ancient mythology of the hero and the villain were incomprehensible to me, but as someone filled with curiosity, wonderment and awe, men like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo defined what a young boy wished he could be in the fantasies of his own mind. When it was all over, I felt so fulfilled, and yet so unsatisfied because it was a feeling that I didn’t want to end. I asked my father if we could stay in our seats and watch it again (you could still easily do that back then). He said no and I’m sure I did my best not to hold a grudge against him. What really became intolerable was the fact that I spent much of the remainder of ‘77 and well into ‘78 repeatedly asking my parents if I could see it again, and their answer was always no. Not since JAWS, had I felt the pinch of being denied access to a popular movie. This was worse, actually, because I’d already seen STAR WARS and I knew just how great an experience it was. Every weekend, the movie section of the Sunday New York Times was there on the table, and every weekend, I had to stare at the images of what was now my favorite movie of all time, and contend with the fact that I wasn’t getting any closer to a second go-around. Unlike today, where a blockbuster movie plays for only a few weeks at the local multiplex before making its way to DVD, Blu-Ray and stream upload, STAR WARS played continuously in movie theaters for nearly a year and eventually surpassed JAWS as the highest grossing film of all time.

For the time being, the closest I got to seeing the movie again was watching THE MAKING OF STAR WARS on ABC on September 16, 1977, just four months after its release, or repeatedly listening to THE STORY OF STAR WARS, a record album of one hour’s worth of action and dialogue from the movie (to be teased like this was just not cool!). Thankfully, however, even the most persistent of nagging kids can inevitably get their way. On July 20, 1978, STAR WARS officially ended its first theatrical run in the United States, but due to its overwhelming popularity, it was given a wide re-release the very next day on July 21st and remained in theaters until the following November (I guess there are some movies you just don’t take away from people). By the time it was all over, between 1977 and 1982, I’d managed to see STAR WARS on the big screen five times. By comparison to many die hard fans, that’s insulting low, I’m sure. Those people clearly had money to burn and more agreeable parents than I did. All in all, from age ten well into my teens, STAR WARS was a major “force” in my life. I’m truly grateful for that and I thank its creator and all those involved from the bottom of my heart for being such an important and influential part of my growing up.

Now regarding what Mr. Lucas chose to do with it back in the 1990s, well...let's just say that I consider myself a movie purist. That means I generally don’t approve of a filmmaker going back and changing their work years later. With very few exceptions, I do not go for Special Editions, Director’s Cuts, Final Cuts, or anything of the sort. I’m of the opinion that once a motion picture has had its general release, and its impact on the moviegoing public has established itself, good or bad, you walk away, you leave it alone and you move on. Sure, I own the Special Edition of the film because it’s what’s available in high definition Blu-Ray, but I’m fortunate that I still keep a working VCR in my life so I can, once in a while, watch STAR WARS as it was (as of 1981, anyway) before Georgie got his hot, little hands on it and unacceptably changed things, in particular the infamous issue of who shot who first at the Mos Eisley Cantina (Han Solo did shoot first!).

The world of STAR WARS has changed so much in the forty-one years since the original film first hit movie theaters, that sometimes it’s difficult to wrap my head around all of it. What started out as a two-hour motion picture of a fairy tale quest inspired by multiple themes and inspirations, including Flash Gordon and Akira Kurosawa’s THE HIDDEN FORTRESS, has since become an uncontrollable (excuse the pun) “empire” comprised of sequels, prequels, computer-generated TV shows, books, video games, graphic novels, YouTube fan made videos, smart phone apps (geez, the list is endless!). But what the original STAR WARS has come to define for a man my age is another time and another meaning compared to today’s generation of fans that fall under the new ownership of the franchise by Disney. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy all eight STAR WARS films (even the prequels) and believe it or not, I still own some of the old toys I managed to hang onto from when I was a kid (and a few extras purchased on eBay over the years), but the reflections I have of the past are perhaps incomprehensible to those who enjoy it all on a different level today. When I was a kid, STAR WARS was just simply a great movie, and always will be.

I'm now left only with what STAR WARS meant to me as a kid and what it still means to me as the adult I am now. It’s my favorite film of the entire saga that I watch when I want to remember that I still have an active imagination. It’s the film I watch when I need to recall a time when a new step forward in science fiction fantasy had been taken and the world stood up and took notice. It’s the film I watch when I want to shake off the stress of the daily grind of adulthood and remember when things in my life were simpler. In short, it’s the film I’ve come to define as my favorite comfort movie. It serves to remind us all that we, as fans of great science fiction, are in the ongoing process of committing ourselves to cosmic and character events, revelations and realizations that play out like a giant inter-galactic soap opera. Mind you, we’re not complaining. We love it! Perhaps it’s even made some of us happier when life gets us down. It has for this guy!

I dedicate this post to David H. I hope he's forgiven me by now.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Luke Skywalker: "So, what do you think of her, Han?"
Han Solo: "I'm tryin' not to, kid."
Luke: "Good."
Han: "Still, she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me...?"
Luke: "No!"

STAR TREK: NEMESIS

(December 2002, U.S.)

Well, this is the end of the line for STAR TREK on my blog. You'll notice that I skipped over STAR TREK: INSURRECTION (1998). The only thing I really remember about it anymore (other than just not liking it when I saw it) was that it was the second movie date I had with my wife when we first started dating (the first was LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL). To be perfectly honest, I've always been surprised that STAR TREK: NEMESIS did not fare better with audiences and critics upon its release (an even-numbered STAR TREK film that did not do well). I'd surely give it far more attention and credit than I would the J.J. Abrams reboots (leave it to me to repeatedly go against the norm).

So for the NEXT GENERATION'S final mission, the adventure begins on Romulus, where members of the Romulan senate have just been wiped out in an act of terrorism by an unknown enemy. Meanwhile, the crew of the Enterprise that we all know and love are attending the wedding of Will Riker and Deana Troi (I think was only barely aware of their romantic involvement from the original TV show). A mysterious positronic energy reading brings Picard, Data and Worf to the Korlaran system, where they encounter what remains of Data's identical android (or brother) called B-4, though not nearly as advanced. After the Romulan Empire is taken over in a military coup by a man called Shinzon (played outstandingly by Tom Hardy), we later learn that he's actually Picard's clone, secretly created by the Romulans to plant a high-ranking spy inside the Federation. Shinzon, while weak in the body and dying, is highly intelligent and is also the leader of the Remans.

While initially wanting to learn more about Picard and the family history, Shinzon is secretly planning an attack against all life form on Earth in the same manner in which he destroyed the Romulan senate at the beginning of the film (it wasn't pretty). As Shinzon rapidly ages due to the cloning process that took place when he was a child, his intention is to use Picard's blood in a transfusion that will save him. Picard is kidnapped, but soon rescued by Data who is actually pretending to be B-4 in order to pull it off. Their fight and eventual escape from Shinzon's war ship is quite exciting, as well as their little space ride within its corridors. Space battle follows (within very awesome looking special effects of green clouds in space)...

...and ultimately results in a head-on collision between two ships in space (I'll get into that one in a moment). Picard and Shinzon face off, and Shinzon is finally killed by impalement on a metal strut. Data, proving as always how loyal his is to his captain and his crew, saves Picard, but is killed himself when the enemy ship is destroyed. Yes, after fifteen years, our beloved Data is finally gone, but just may end up being replaced by B-4, as he continues to learn and grow. And as Picard and Riker bid each other farewell, it's time for us to do the same, as well.

While NEMESIS is generally considered the lowest-rated STAR TREK film since THE FINAL FRONTIER (1989), I've always found its premise original and interesting, at least enough to hold my interest for a tenth go-around. The action scenes are just what you'd expect in a high profile sci-fi franchise as this, but more than anything, it's the performance by Tom Hardy (in only his third film role) that really captures and holds my attention. There's an intense balance of good and evil within him as he not only tries to better what remains of his humanity by connecting with Picard, but is also hell-bent on destroying mankind at all costs. Though, like any other franchise (with perhaps the exception of James Bond), things inevitably reach a point when it all starts to run out of steam. We know from the movie poster that this is the final journey for the NEXT GENERATION crew, so we're meant to sit down and take it all in with a sense of ending and resolution, not too unlike THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. The wit and dialogue from the Enterprise crew is unchanged from any of its previous films, which means it's just fine, in my opinion. Humanity continues to serve its proper function in a universe where hardware reigns supreme, particularly where the goodness of Picard and Data are concerned.

Now, with regard to that head-on collision in space - while I cannot account for the laws of physics (I never studied law, even in the world of space fantasy), it seems to me that the Enterprise ramming into another ship at high speed would very likely destroy both ships and everyone in them, don't you think? Well, if you can get past that and suspend your disbelief long enough, the slow motion action of sparks, debris and destruction is quite a cool thing to watch on screen. Besides, I doubt STAR TREK audiences would take too kindly to watching the entire crew of the Enterprise destroyed in a single act.

And so ends STAR TREK on my blog. It's been a long ride, despite having skipped over two out of ten films. Now it's time to move onto the bigger and better space fantasy franchise we've known since 1977. Sorry that I can't get it started today, on May the 4th, but such is life.

Live long and prosper!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Shinzon (to Picard upon his impalement): "I'm glad we're together now!"