STAR WARS: EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS

(December 2015, U.S.)

THE FORCE AWAKENS can best be described in one word: redemption. Redemption for the sour taste that the saga's finale, RETURN OF THE JEDI, left in my mouth for decades (bad acting and bad dialogue!). Redemption for Han Solo and Princess Leia, whose characters I felt had been completely lived out by the time JEDI came around. Finally, redemption for J.J. Abrams. While I deeply admire the man who wrote REGARDING HENRY when he was still a kid and later created ABC-TV's LOST, there's not a single film of his that I enjoyed before THE FORCE AWAKENS. I also have to acknowledge what a challenge it must have been to be bestowed the legendary space opera franchise after Disney acquired the rights in 2012. How do you pick things up more than thirty years since the timeline was severed? What's more, how do you win back an audience that felt disenchanted and alienated by George Lucas with his less-than-embraced prequel trilogy? I suppose in all fairness, THE FORCE AWAKENS had plenty of good luck on its side from the beginning. The return of Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill were an immediate incentive. For myself, the return of writer Lawrence Kasdan at the helm (he wrote EMPIRE and JEDI, though JEDI had its many flaws) was nothing to sneeze at, either.

And so, thirty years later, we're all back in that galaxy far, far away we've known and loved since 1977. The Empire is long dead, but the First Order has risen to destroy the New Republic once and for all. Like the Rebellion, they are opposed by the Resistance, backed by the Republic and General Leia Organa. Luke Skywalker has also disappeared, and his sister has never stopped her desperate search for him. Like the first STAR WARS film, a charming little droid (BB-8) carries a secret message in the form of a map that will lead to Luke. The opening action also takes place on a sand heap of a planet, Jakku, and Resistance pilot Poe Dameron (played by Oscar Isaac) is captured after an attack on his village by stormtroopers led by the saga's new arch villain, a Darth Vader wannabe, Kylo Ren (played by Adam Driver). Like Vader, Kylo Ren hides behind a sinister black mask and is all-knowing and all-powerful with the Dark Side of the Force. What he cannot predict is that one of the stormtroopers, who we'll later know as Finn (played by John Boyega), decides in a moment of consciousness and righteousness, to defect from the First Order. Meanwhile, BB-8 meets Jakku scavenger Rey (played by Daisy Ridley) who, while simply trying to survive every day, knows that there's something mysteriously special about her.

After helping Poe to escape his captors, Finn and he return to Jakku to try and find BB-8, but end up crash landing the Tie Fighter they've stolen. Finn and Ray meet and join forces to not only survive the First Order, but to try and locate BB-8 also so that the ultimate mystery of Luke Skywalker's whereabouts can be solved. The film's true turning point is not just the rediscovery of the junked Millenium Falcon in action, but that all-too wonderful moment when Han Solo and Chewie return "home" when they board their beloved ship. Yes, we've waited more than thirty years to see the mighty Han Solo back where he truly belongs and now we've got it. Tell me that you don't smile yourself when you watch Harrison Ford smile at the sight of the cockpit he's missed for so long.

As the story and all-too familiar space action of any great STAR WARS film continue to lead closer and closer to Luke, Rey's true identity and past continue to mystify. We're given many hints that would indicate her own personal connection to Luke Skywalker (her father, perhaps) and the powers of the Force, which she progressively discovers for herself as she matures into a warrior that would rival the legacy of the Jedi's past. We're also reminded of the past by the existence of the Starkiller Base (Starkiller, by the way, was the last name for Luke that Lucas first came up with when he was writing the first STAR WARS film), an echo of the Death Star, with enough fire power to destroy many planets at once. In fact, during its primary testing of its fire power, I'm quite sure one of the planets that's destroyed is Coruscant from the prequel trilogy (am I really the only one who can recognize that??). Other questions that never quite answer themselves are just how Kylo Ren came into possession of his grandfather's (Vader's) burnt-up mask. And just how did cantina owner Maz Kanata come into possession of Luke's original lightsaber, which supposedly fell into oblivion when Vader severed his hand during their Cloud City duel in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK? She actually tells Han that that's a story for another time and another place. To date, we still haven't heard that story.

Like films of the past, the climax will come together in a pivotal lightsaber duel between good and evil, this time between Rey and Kylo Ren. These are moments we come to expect. What we cannot possibly expect or imagine (not without spoilers, anyway) is that Kylo Ren is actually the son of Han and Leia, who turned to the Dark Side after the teachings of his former Jedi Master, Luke, failed. What's even more shocking to us (again, only if we walk into the movie theater completely unaware) is that Han Solo will die before the film is over. This is a moment that many of us STAR WARS fans must face with a heavy heart. We've watched the mighty Solo in action for four films, and now the time has come to say goodbye to his character forever. We almost can't help but want to shriek ourselves along with Chewie at that moment when Kylo's lightsaber penetrates Han's body. Solo was a renegade who once told Obi-Wan Kenobi that he'd "seen a lot of strange stuff". But never could he have ever fathomed the idea that he would die at hands of his own son. The shocked and mystified look on Ford's face before falling into the abyss says it all. As THE FORCE AWAKENS comes to its moment of truth, we wait in anticipation for its ultimate conclusion. This has been primarily a film about finding Luke Skywalker, and find him we eventually will. In a final moment that is without dialogue, Rey and Chewie arrive in the Falcon to an isolated island and Rey climbs her way to discovery. It's been more than thirty years, and we know look upon the face of the legendary, if not mythical Luke Skywalker; alone, older, worn out, beaten, and unsure of what his ultimate destiny in the universe will be.

Admittedly, there's a strong sense of drama in the way I write this post. I think that J.J. Abrams intentionally tries to create an equal sense of drama in this film. He recognizes that it's been decades since we've been with these characters and it's surely a major challenge to not only pick things up after so long, but to try to account for a timeline we've been unable to be a part of for so long. There's also an equally strong sense of mystery and awe in having been away for so long, and yet one cannot help but feel cheated at the same time in our inability to have been a part of what's happened up until now. We're given the backstory of Luke's establishment of a new Jedi order and its ultimate failure that led to the son of Han and Leia turning to the Dark Side. We know that the love and marriage of Han and Leia failed, too (hell, maybe we even expected that), and yet it does our heart good to see Ford and Fisher reunited in unity and strength. Because even as we embrace new faces and fresh blood, we cherish the familiarity of the past in not only our heroes, but in our beloved droids, as well. THE FORCE AWAKENS reminds us of what STAR WARS was in the past; energetic, joyous, thrilling, surprising and filled with solid performances by credible actors (well, at least that was the case in STAR WARS and EMPIRE, anyway). It celebrates the STAR WARS of the past while finding new ways to expand and continue it.

Now let me ask a question that I still haven't found the answer to anywhere on the web. Does anybody else notice this bizarre, ongoing consistency of red patches on many things and characters in the film? Take another look and you'll see a red patch on the shoulder of Poe's jacket, a red patch on the shoulder of the commander of the stormtroopers, a red patch on the side of the Tie Fighter that Poe and Finn steal, and finally, an entire red arm on See-Threepio. This red is just too damn consistent to be merely a coincidence! It must mean something, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what! Somebody please help me with this!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Han Solo (upon returning to the Millenium Falcon): "Chewie...we're home."

STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH

(May 2005, U.S.)

In May 2005, I was so excited to see REVENGE OF THE SITH, that I could hardly retain any other thought in my head. This was, after all (at the time), supposed to be the last STAR WARS movie ever. Set now three years after the start of the Clone Wars in ATTACK OF THE CONES, this was also to be a darker STAR WARS movie, with a PG-13 rating for the first time in the history of the saga. Anakin Skywalker was older now and steering closer and closer to what we all knew would turn out to be his ultimate fate of becoming Darth Vader. We also knew that his wife Padmé Amidala (I guess she never changed her last name to Skywalker after she got married - LOL!) was to be pregnant with twins whom we would come to know as Luke and Leia. Yes, we knew of all things to come, but we still couldn't wait to see the process in which it would all come down and the ultimate destiny the galaxy would face.

At the start of the movie, civil war is now in its darkest and most serious state. Anakin and young Obi-Wan Kenobi are on a perilous mission to rescue the kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine from the clutches of General Grievous, who by the way, is perhaps one of the worst creature creations George Lucas has ever come up with, in my opinion. Forgetting for just a moment the horribly wooden dialogue that comes out of that stupid droid throughout the movie, his constant coughing and wheezing is enough to make Jar Jar Binks more than tolerable (he's hardly in this movie, thank goodness!). Following Anakin's beheading of Count Dooku, and Grievous's escape, the mission is nonetheless successful and our two heroes return to Coruscant, where grown-up "Annie" learns that he's going to be a daddy.

Anankin and Palpatine are growing closer and more trusting of each other, as Anakin slowly becomes disenchanted and distrustful of the entire Jedi order. The Dark Side of the Force and an overall plot to destroy the Jedi are sensed throughout the Republic and Jedi Council, particularly by Mace Windu and our beloved Yoda, though none of them can completely sense the role that Anakin will play in all of it. The dark times of good against evil finally come into place when the Emperor, having finally seduced Anakin under his wing and the Dark Side of the Force, issues what he calls Order #66, an implanted command that will turn the clone stormtroopers against the Jedi order with instructions to hunt down and kill them all. Anakin travels to the volcanic planet of Mustafar and eliminates the Separatist Council. Meanwhile, Palpatine, now the Emperor, addresses the Galactic Senate declaring the treasonous actions of the Jedi and that the Council will be restructured into the new Galactic Empire. It's at this moment that Natalie Portman, whom I still consider the worst part of the entire prequel trilogy (the girl can't act!), ironically states what I consider to be the best piece of dialogue in this film (and the entire trilogy, for that matter), but I'll tell you that at the end of this post.

Anakin's (now a pre-masked Darth Vader) turn to the Dark Side reaches its peak when he finally duels Obi-Wan with lightsabers, believing he and even Padmé to have betrayed him. Their duel is fast paced (too fast, if you ask me) and intense as it takes place throughout the mining facility and lava rivers of Mustafar. Upon achieving the higher ground, Obi-Wan takes position and manages to sever both of Vader's legs and his remaining arm, leaving him for dead, but not before declaring his sorrow over Anakin's turn to darkness and evil. Yoda, once again, shows us his skill with a lightsaber when he battles the Emperor and narrowly escapes with his life. Into exile he must go, and we know that will be the swamp planet of Degobah (though we don't get to see that in this film).

So now, Anakin dies, Darth Vader is reborn as the dark lord of the Sith, Padmé dies in childbirth (as Anakin envisioned in his dreams), and in the shadow of dark death, new life is born and their names are Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. They'll be separated for their own safety, and Leia will be raised on the planet Alderaan, while Luke is raised by his Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen on Tatooine, until the day will come that they'll both meet on a space station that has just begun construction in space, the Death Star.

REVENGE OF THE SITH ends on a very dark note, but it does, nonetheless, bring everything that we've known about STAR WARS since 1977, full circle. It's surely the strongest of the three prequel films, though my criticism of its acting performances change very little from the first two films. Much of the dialogue is still very wooden, and like the first two, I still give the proper credit to actor Ian McDiarmid in the role he was built to play. Hayden Christensen, admittedly, is doing his very best to bring about a dark and tense attitude toward a character that's surely a big challenge to live up to, though there are moments where he's still behaving like a whining child. The entire film packs a far more serious and emotional punch than its predecessors and makes it very clear the global impact the actions of heroes and villains have, while remembering not to sacrifice any of the entertaining fun we've all come to expect from the STAR WARS universe. It was fun, and for ten years, we thought it was all over...we thought.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Padmé Amidala (listening to the reactions of the Galactic Senate): "So this is how liberty dies...with thunderous applause."

(I hope George W. Bush was listening to that when she said it! I hope Donald Trump is listening to it now!)

STAR WARS - EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES

(May 2002, U.S.)

Okay, it was three years later and it was time for all STAR WARS fans who were left with a sour taste from THE PHANTOM MENACE (not me) to see if things had now improved in the galaxy. But more important than that, it was eight months since the horrific events of September 11, 2001, and more than ever, we needed the magic, the fun, and the escape of George Lucas. We needed STAR WARS!

The story of ATTACK OF THE CLONES is set ten years after the events of the EPISODE I and the Republic is on the brink of civil war. Led by former Jedi knight Count Dooku (played by the late Christopher Lee), thousands of planetary systems threaten to separate from the Republic. After Padmé Amidala (no longer queen, but now a senator) survives an assassination attempt, Jedi apprentice Anakin Skywalker (played by Hayden Christensen) assigned to protect her, while his master Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor again) investigates the attempt, while throughout the galaxy, the plot thickens that will brings the onset of the Clone Wars we've previously heard so much about. While Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective to find out just what the hell is going on, we're learning of the pieces of the elaborate puzzle that is building the grand army of stormtroopers whose initial purpose is to defend and protect the Republic against the Separatists. We're also learning that it's Jango Fett (the father of bounty hunter Boba Fett), who's the clone host to the hundreds of stormtroopers who have been designed and programmed to obey any order without question.

Meanwhile, Anakin and Padmé are busy falling in love against all the codes of the Jedi order. As a love couple, I don't think I've ever seen a young man and woman so mismatched on the screen - like watching Alley Sheedy and Steve Gutenberg in SHORT CIRCUIT (1986)! Their lovestruck romp and roll around through the lush fields on Naboo would be tragic if it wasn't so damn stupid to begin with. Wonder what Julie Andrews would say if she agreed with my opinion that it (badly) replicates her dancing through the hills alive with music at the opening of THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)? Anakin's heartfelt confession of his love to her by the fireplace might almost be beautiful (almost) if it wasn't such a heap of wooden dialogue and if it also wasn't being told to the likes of Natalie Portman (the girl can't act!). Still, like it or not, their secret love (and secret marriage at the end of the film) is necessary if we're ever going to see Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia live and breathe.

Like THE PHANTOM MENACE, let's be fair with ATTACK OF THE CLONES, as well. There are many improvements over its predecessor, including a serious reduction in Jar Jar Binks time. Like any STAR WARS film, the thrills and action of battle (both in space and on the ground) and lightsabers never falls short. After twenty-two years since first meeting Yoda, we finally get to see him in action with a lightsaber, too, and it should come as no surprise to us that the little green guy has got some serious moves on him. Despite its enormous fun, there's a darker, more serious tone in this film as we watch Anakin slowly progress into the darker nature of himself as he grieves over the death of his mother and struggles with his forbidden love toward Padmé. Because we're witnessing events that we know very well will lead us to the galaxy far, far away of the '70s and 80's, it's important information, even if we don't quite understand all of it. And yet, there are still some surprises here and there. Never in our wildest imagination would we have guessed that it's ultimately Jar Jar Binks who's responsible for the rise of the Empire when he makes the decision as Padmé's representative in the Senate that Senator Palpatine should be given emergency powers to combat the threat of the Separatists. Well, congratulations Jar Jar PUTZ! You just gave away the perfect reason for the Emperor to not only begin design on what will become the Death Star someday (we get a quick glimpse with a hologram), but to also take power and control over the whole galaxy!

Like many other critics and fans, I too, find the dialogue and acting in this film wooden, stiff and quite cliché, though not nearly as bad as RETURN OF THE JEDI. I do, however, give the proper credit to actor Ian McDiarmid, whom I believe is doing the best he can with what he's been given beyond the character he's brought to life since 1983. He knows how to be the Emperor, it's that he has to do it while surrounded by many actors who are, at best, going through the motions. Even an intense actor like Samuel L. Jackson is reduced to really nothing more than a player in a grand video game (though I love the badass look on his face when he ultimately beheads Jango Fett during the arena battle on Geonosis. Perhaps by EPISODE II in our beloved saga, we should all be practically used to the idea of quantity of quality (seems a shame, though).

I must confess that until ATTACK OF THE CLONES, it never, ever occurred to me that the Empire actually rose out of the Republic. No kidding. I'd always presumed that the evil had taken on a separate birth and life of its own. I never imagined that the good that was once the Republic would eventually turn on itself and become the very power they were previously trying to fight and prevent. Is it me, or does that sound a lot like the current state of the United States under Donald Trump?? Is it any wonder images like this are all over the web...

Does this mean we need to dread our own Clone Wars?? Or I should I not overthink it so much? It is, after all, just a STAR WARS movie.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Anakin Skywalker: "You call this a diplomatic solution?"
Padmé Amidala: "No, I call it aggressive negotiations."

STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE

(May 1999, U.S.)

History dictates itself. It was now sixteen years since RETURN OF THE JEDI. Young boys were men, young girls were women, the President of the United States was again a Democrat and the 1980s were now at the dawn of the new Millennium. In the fall of 1998, people actually paid to see a dud like MEET JOE BLACK simply so they could witness the new teaser trailer for STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE. Yes, my friends, George Lucas was back in the director's chair and with him came the return of our beloved STAR WARS universe!

But wait! Suddenly May 1999 arrived, and with the advanced ticket sales and overnight camp-out sidewalk lines also came a shock that no one in the enormous circle of fans of a galaxy a long, long time ago could have ever imagined possible - many thought the new STAR WARS movie sucked! Was this even possible? Yes, Lucas was already skating on thin ice by alienating his fans with his three 1997 Special Editions of the original trilogy, but could he have really given us an altogether bad movie? I had to see for myself as quickly as possible. Now, while I wasn't insane enough to stand on insane ticket lines just to be able to say I was one of the first ones to see THE PHANTOM MENACE, I and my girlfriend (later my wife) did manage to secure tickets to a late night show on a work night (this after already having seen THE MUMMY at another movie theater that same night). Needless to say, we didn't sleep much that night.

Long story short, I did not think THE PHANTOM MENACE sucked. In fact, I saw it three times that summer. But since its release, I've tried very hard to figure out why many people hate it so much. There are some obvious reasons that I can certainly relate to, the most important one being what a horrible annoyance a comic relief character like Jar Jar Binks is. To listen to his speech patterns, as well as those of his fellow Gungan mates is an exercise in patience and tolerance beyond recognition. For myself, however, I find him a lot easier to tolerate that the Ewoks of JEDI, which I considered nothing better than a cross between the classic Teddy bear and the Munchkins of THE WIZARD OF OZ (maybe that was the point, by I hated it, nonetheless!). I'm left with only the question of why comic reliefs have ever been considered a necessary element in any STAR WARS movie. There's also the plot element of Anakin Skywalker as a young boy, which left many fans feeling as if THE PHANTOM MENACE had specifically created for ten year-old boys and no one else. That may be true, but many criticized the original 1977 film of exactly the same thing. Then there's the Pod race which has been famously cited for paying homage to the infamous chariot race sequence in William Wyler's BEN-HUR (1959). While I certainly have no problem with paying homage to such a classic film that clearly influenced a man like Lucas, there's a matter of execution, and it can be argued that the Pod race falls short of any credible excitement beyond speed and mayhem. Finally, there is, in my opinion, the worst element about THE PHANTOM MENACE (as well as the two films that followed), and that is the poor casting choice of Natalie Portman! I've been knocking this girl ever since her debut in THE PROFESSIONAL (1994) because of her childish, whining, and often somber demeanor in everything she's ever done on film (she's the single reason I couldn't sit through all of THOR!). Put simply - the girl can't act!

But now let me tell you why I defend THE PHANTOM MENACE against all those who seek to condemn it. One of its strongest points is its strong political theme. Let us recall that we are now in a galactic period before the rise of the Empire, and with that comes the necessary story of just how and why it rose in the first place. As logic would suggest, the rise of any political power usually begins with a single political crisis. The Trade Federation has upset the galactic order by creating a blockade of trade to the planet of Naboo, the home planet of Queen Amidala (Portman) in preparation for a full-scale invasion. Senator Palpatine (whom we also know as Darth Sidious) is playing both sides, as he seemingly seeks to solve the problem for the good of the Republic while secretly plotting to rise as the Emperor of what shall one be known as the Empire. We know all of this already from the first three films, and we're now witness to how it all came about. Political crisis and intrigue is challenged by the Jedi knights, including a young Obi-Wan Kenobi (played by Ewan McGregor) and his master Qui-Gon Jinn (played by Liam Neeson). While we are forced to sit through childish antics from Jar Jar Binks and even young Anakin, whom too many people insist on calling "Annie", we must remember that we are in the midst of crisis that inevitably leads to an uprising of power that will bring (unwanted) order to the galaxy. Let's also try to remember that, like it or not, we're watching a STAR WARS movie, and that always brings the excitement of laser fire, spectacular space battles and the climactic lightsaber duel we've come to know and love. THE PHANTOM MENACE offers us one of the best and most original duels, in my opinion, since EMPIRE, particularly in the use of the double lightsaber that Darth Maul (played by Ray Park) so expertly sports. I also appreciate the original look of the battle droids, which I suppose are meant to be viewed and appreciated as a precursor to the stormtroopers we're so familiar with later.

While THE PHANTOM MENACE can never be considered as fresh or original as STAR WARS and EMPIRE (and let's be honest, it would be practically irresponsible to try and make any fair comparisons between them), it does have the gift of fine British and Scotish actors as Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid, who reprises his role from JEDI. In fact, it's the diabolical scheming and plotting of McDiarmid as Palpatine that I find most enjoyable in the entire prequel trilogy, the character so well commanded in its dark intensity. And while we know the story and fate of young Anakin Skywalker already, having to sit through the likes of Jake Lloyd in order to have the story come to pass is, like Binks, an exercise in patience and tolerance. Samuel L. Jackson is a welcome addition to the cast that brings to mind the joy we first felt when we met Billy Dee Williams in EMPIRE and it's also good to see Yoda (and Frank Oz) alive and well again.

So, while THE PHANTOM MENACE may never find its way into the STAR WARS hearts of millions the way other films have, let's all try to at least be fair with it, shall we? If absolutely nothing else, it's a perfect example of Hollywood movie mediocrity: it ain't the worst and it ain't the best.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Yoda (to young Anakin Skywalker): "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate...leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."

STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI

(May 1983, U.S.)

On Friday May 27, 1983, my father declared that he insisted me and my younger brother go see RETURN OF THE JEDI immediately after school and before we headed out to the Hamptons for the weekend, his reason being that he didn't want the two of us to bother him about seeing the movie all summer, which is exactly what we did to the poor man three years prior with THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (yes, the man could make sense once in a while!). Like every other fan of the galaxy far, far away, I spent months waiting in anticipation for the saga to conclude the cliffhanger we were left with at the end of EPISODE V. When JEDI finally opened, it played at the recently renovated triplex theater in my hometown of Great Neck, Long Island. The local neighborhood movie theater was packed to the brim with kids and I prepared myself for another spectacular movie in a saga that began six years ago.

What happened over the course of the next two hours astonished me. While there were notable scenes of real intense action and space battles, something just wasn’t right about this new movie. The details are forthcoming, but what I honestly believe happened to me that day in that movie theater in that town was that I learned for the first time in my young life that the familiarity of what was previously such a miraculous element of action and fantasy the first two times did not necessarily guarantee a good movie by the third go-around. The new STAR WARS movie was flawed, and flawed badly, in my opinion, and I discovered that I now possessed a higher and more mature level of criticism toward what I watched on screen than when I was a child. Great films and franchises of the past like STAR WARS, SUPERMAN, PSYCHO, JAWS and even SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER didn’t necessarily mean their follow-ups of the ‘1980s would continue to be great, because as I’d soon learn that fateful summer of 1983, SUPERMAN III, JAWS 3-D, PSYCHO II and STAYING ALIVE were just awful movies. The tide had just turned with RETURN OF THE JEDI, and not necessarily for the better. Movies, by my perception, would now be approached more carefully, more critically and with an altered frame of mind. Not everything I watched would be so good at the time I watched it, as was often the case when I was a kid.

When I was in college, I had a design professor who would always begin her critiques with everything she liked about our project presentations before moving onto what she didn't like about them. Out of respect and fond memory for her, I shall do the same thing for RETURN OF THE JEDI. To begin with, the visual and special effects seem greatly improved and updated since 1977, even during a time when CGI was still many years away. The speeder bike chase through the forests of Endor is pretty awesome looking! The space battle above Endor is, in my opinion, the most spectacular battle in the entire STAR WARS saga. In fact, there are two shots following Lando Calrissian's announcement of, "Fighters coming in", that still take my breath away even after thirty-five years...

There is one final positive point I can raise with this film. Let me take you back to when I first launched this movie blog back in April 2010. One of the earliest points I raised was that I did not embrace movie Special Editions, Final Cuts or Director's Cuts. There were two exceptions, however. The first was James Cameron's THE ABYSS and the great improvements that were made when he re-released his longer cut in 1994. The second is...you guessed it...the 1997 Special Edition of RETURN OF THE JEDI. If for no other reason, the new version does away with that obnoxious "Yub-yub" victory song by the Ewoks during the final celebration following the destruction of the second Death Star, though I also enjoy the way the film concludes by tying in all the planets we've come to know throughout the entire saga (up until EPISODE VI, anyway).

That, I'm afraid, may be the only true samples of credit I can give to Lucas's third and final chapter to the original trilogy. Don't get me wrong - I own the film as part of the Blu-Ray trilogy pack and I still watch it every once in a while. I mean, how can I not? When you've watched EPISODES I through V, you've pretty much committed yourself to the entire package, whether you like it or not. But as I said before, JEDI is greatly flawed, and I was aware of it from the moment I watched it for the first time at the age of sixteen in 1983.

To begin with, there are just too many redundant points from the first two episodes. Let's start with the fact that despite it being "half eaten", as I like to put it, we are experiencing the lack of originality of a second Death Star. Could writers George and Lawrence Kasdan honestly think of nothing better for this new film? Next we have just another mundane, run of the mill lightsaber duel between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader again, and not nearly as intense and exciting as their first one at Cloud City. In fact, despite the fact that JEDI is supposed to take place only mere months after EMPIRE, Vader appears to have gotten pathetically older and weaker. There's also a constant amount of recycling of John Williams's musical themes from the first two, with only the occasional break to feature some softer melodies as themes of the Ewoks and the tender moments between Luke and his newly-discovered twin sister, Princess Leia. And since I mention the Ewoks, let me just say that I consider their entire existence an obnoxious comedy relief element that makes Jar-Jar Binks look well educated and scholarly, and Sesame Street creatures look mature. As for my reaction to Leia's less-than-horrified reaction to Luke telling her that she's his sister, and in effect, Darth Vader is her father, too, well...I can only say that my reaction is very much the same to many others when we say, "Really, Leia? Somehow, you always knew?? Did you know when you decided to lip-lock with your brother in EMPIRE??" And while I love the battle in space above Endor, the battle taking place on the ground suffers greatly because I don't feel there's one believable moment in it! We are meant to believe and accept so many points that I consider implausible, from the fact that despite their thick armor and helmets, the stormtroopes are easily defeated by the Ewoks and their sticks and stones, to the fact that despite all of the laser fire and destruction taking place in the forest, only one Ewok is seemingly killed in the entire battle (seriously???)! Add to that Chewbacca's stupid Tarzan yell as he and fellow Ewoks swing above one of the Empire's walkers, you're left with an entire sequence that just seems to fall flat on its ass!

Let's now get into character development, or the lack there of. See-Threepio has become truly feminine to the point of being gay, with lines like "Goodness, gracious, me!" and screaming, "Come b-a-a-a-ck!" to Artoo-Deetoo like a little girl! Darth Vader has become, excuse my frankness, a real pussy, as he's constantly kissing the Emperor's ass with lines like, "Yes, Master?" and "As you wish". There is no way this is the same dark lord that took pleasure in choking the hell out others in the first two films. What the hell happened to your balls, Darth?? Princess Leia and Han Solo have, in effect, outlived their characters as they seem to do nothing more than prod along in their mission to deactivate the energy shield on Endor (thirty-two years later, they would prove that opinion of their characters wrong in THE FORCE AWAKENS, in which they totally redeemed themselves), leaving the true story of JEDI as that of the Skywalker family only. Finally, and there's no way to say this in a kind manner...RETURN OF THE JEDI has, without a doubt, the worst acting and the worst dialogue I've ever had to sit through. Some of that bad dialogue is actually repeated from EMPIRE, particularly Yoda's repeated warnings to Luke about the Dark Side of the Force while on his death bed.

Finally, and this may be one of the more important points considered by many STAR WARS fans, especially the horny male ones, there's Carrie Fisher and the whole slave girl, metal bikini thing. I can only say from the point of the art of motion picture making, this has to be one of the cheapest things George Lucas ever did, and I'm quite surprised that Fisher agreed to do it. It's almost a shame that after a long career of not only Princess Leia, but notable moments in the '80s that included THE BLUES BROTHERS, HANNAH AND HER SISTER and WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, the late Carrie Fisher may only be best remembered for this...

Again, don't get me wrong! I'm a horny male myself and I'm hardly complaining about Carrie Fisher showing off her tits and ass back in the '80s before she eventually gained a ton of weight in the '90s. But from a more mature perspective, I always felt Carrie's STAR WARS beauty was better captured in this final moment from the first film...

But, hey, that's me...and maybe I'm not alone in my opinion. I hope I'm not.

And so, thus ended what seemed like the end of the mighty STAR WARS saga...for the next sixteen years, anyway.

Favorite line or dialogue (and believe me, this is a hard thing to decide, considering how much I think the dialogue sucks!):

The Emperor: "Your hate has made you powerful. Now fulfill your destiny, and take you're father's place by my side!"
Luke Skywalker (throwing his lightsaber aside): "Never. I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
The Emperor: "So be it...Jedi!"

STAR WARS: EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

(May 1980, U.S.)

Like STAR WARS before this, I shall continue to be as personal as I can with this legendary sequel, which by this time had us knee deep in Lucas's new title format of episode numbers for his continuing space opera. But let's face it - you already know the story that follows the continuing adventures of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewie, the droids, Jedi Master-Frank Oz-controlled-puppet Yoda, Lando Calrissian and Darth Vader's obsession with capturing Luke to try and turn him to the Dark Side of the Force. Still, let's go back to the year 1980...

Try to imagine a time before social media and entertainment news websites like TMZ existed to give us the latest dirt and lowdown on movies and celebrities. There was a time when, if it wasn’t printed in the newspaper or a magazine or revealed on TV at the behest of the studio, secrets and inside information on a movie were only available through rumor and speculation, and believe me when I tell you that there was just as much of that sort of leaking going on without social media. During the immediate success of STAR WARS, fans already wanted to know more about what was next, and they’d listen to it from any source, even their own mouths. From as early as September 1977, when ABC aired THE MAKING OF STAR WAR, the late Carrie Fisher told us of her understanding that the next movie would take place (partially) on an ice planet. If you were one of the few people who actually watched CBS’s STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL in November 1978 (I missed it), then you may recall (though you would’ve been unaware of it at the time) an animated Boba Fett, a future character to come. More than just these bits of information, fans wanted to know what the next movie would be titled. The first presumption was that it would simply be called STAR WARS II; a logical enough assumption for people who didn’t know a thing about the mind of George Lucas. The next speculation was that it would be based on the 1978 sci-fi novel SPLINTER OF THE MIND'S EYE by Alan Dean Foster, the first original full-length STAR WARS follow-up novel. These early rumors were finally laid to rest in August 1979 when the re-release movie poster for the original film announced the “coming attractions for “THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK”, the continuing saga of STAR WARS.” Now we knew. We just had to sit back and wait a whole ten months before we’d be back in the theater again to visit that fantastic galaxy far, far away for the second chapter. The release of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK wasn’t just the anticipation of a world I was already head-over-heels obsessed with, but also the cinematic escape I needed more than ever now during what was a very stressful summer during my childhood. So I waited as patiently as I could for my turn at the movies to experience the new STAR WARS movie.

Released in May 1980, the secrets of EMPIRE were impossible to keep from the moment it opened. By Monday morning following its opening weekend, it seemed as if every kid in my grade had seen the movie already (some of them twice) except me. It was impossible not to walk the school corridors without hearing kids talking about it, and with that, came the unavoidable fact that these same kids couldn’t keep their damn, little mouths shut! As a result, I learned of the mind-blowing secret that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father, months before I’d see it unfold for myself. I also learned that Vader was actually a deformed human. Call me ignorant, but for three years, I’d actually labored under the presumption that he was a robot. Learning he was actually a man behind the mask felt like more of a shock than him being Luke’s father. Apparently, Luke was going to lose his hand, too. By the time the movie was in theaters for only a month, I knew all of its secrets, like it or not (definitely not!). Because of long ticket lines and repeated sell-outs, it would be months before I finally got to see the new movie for myself.

Had I bothered to read Time magazine at the age of thirteen, I might’ve seen the May 19, 1980 issue with Darth Vader on the cover. My father subscribed to Newsweek instead, so I didn’t see it until much later. Had I seen it though, I’d have learned beforehand that Lucas had introduced a new element to his beloved saga in which the second chapter was now titled EPISODE V (this was actually one piece of information school kids hadn’t blabbed about, or perhaps I just neglected to hear it)...

Wait! If this new movie was EPISODE V, then what did that make STAR WARS? There was no EPISODE IV attached to it when it was first released and subsequently re-released after that (that technicality, however, was rectified when it was re-released again in 1981, Mr. Lucas clearly covering his ass). By the time I'd inevitably seen EMPIRE twice on the big screen (again in 1981), I and others like me were left with burning questions. Was Darth Vader really Luke’s father? What would happen to Han Solo frozen in carbonite who was being delivered to Jabba the Hutt by Boba Fett? What was to become of the entire Rebel Alliance as they continued to evade the Empire? We could only wait another three years to find out.

It’s hard to believe that when EMPIRE was released back in May 1980, it received only mixed reviews from film critics. Today, ask any fan or critic and they’ll likely tell you it’s the best film of the entire saga (though I still prefer the first film), as well as one of the greatest sequels of all time. It’s certainly one of the darkest and most thought-provoking installments of the saga. With the exception of Yoda’s introduction and childish antics, there’s very little camp or fluff. The performances are stronger, more serious and taken to greater emotional levels, particularly that of Mark Hamill as his character continues to learn of his abilities and ultimate destiny. The middle part of this three-act structure, which has less of the comic book feel of the first film, is still filled with the kind of movie magic, imagery and technological proficiency that Lucas wants to treat us to. Taking over the director’s chair for this chapter, Irvin Kershner’s version of what is still Lucas’ creative brainchild, gives the film a more epic dimension and more mature aspect to an already philosophical and mythical premise. His sequel for this universe is darker, harder and more cynical than the lighter, fairy tale pace of STAR WARS, which somewhat limits how far and how fast the adventure travels. Events in EMPIRE take place all over the galaxy, all the while maintaining the imposing theme that Darth Vader is determined to find Luke Skywalker, though we don’t fully understand why until that climactic moment during their lightsaber duel. Even while Lucas is deliberately keeping information from us, he also knows exactly when to supply some, when necessary. Whether you find this irritating or enthralling is completely up to you.

Speaking for a moment on the job done to the film for the 1997 Special Edition, I can only ask this question: did Lucas really feel he needed to go back and mess with it? I can almost condone his actions for the first film because there were specific deleted scenes that had to be omitted from the final print, including Han Solo’s meeting with Jabba the Hutt and the character of Biggs Darklighter and his friendship with Luke Skywalker. For the second film, however, I can only define Lucas’s actions as that of a spoiled child who refuses to let go of his favorite toy without a fight. His cuts, edits and changes for the Special Edition are, in my opinion, not only deplorable decisions, but also an act of rape to a product that need never have been violated. Again, thank goodness for the working VCR in my life and the untouched 1995 digitally remastered videotape version of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!

Favorite line or dialogue:

Darth Vader: "The Force is with you, young Skywalker...but you are not a Jedi yet!"

(and thus, begins the long-awaited and greatest lightsaber duel in the entire STAR WARS saga!)

STAR WARS

(May 1977, U.S.)

This is it! The big one! But before I even get started on my post for the one movie that's been discussed, debated and picked apart by every fan out there with a keyboard and an opinion, take careful notice of what I've done here: no Roman numeral or Episode number. The name of this movie is simply called STAR WARS, as it was when we first discovered it back in 1977. Take notice also that I do not begin the saga as the story plays out chronologically, beginning with THE PHANTOM MENACE and little boy Anakin. History is not meant to be screwed with, and history dictates that STAR WARS came first before the entire saga got completely turned upside down on its galactic ass!

What shall I say about the most spectacular space fantasy film of all time that hasn't been said before time and time again? Do I even need bother to describe to you the legendary tale of the farm boy hero, the royal princess, the renegade smuggler and his Wookie sidekick, the wise, old Jedi knight who fought in the Clone Wars, the beloved droids, and the evil dark Lord of the Sith? Of course I don't! You who are reading my blog now very likely know STAR WARS like the back of your own hand and such semantics and details would be futile. To be of my generation, of this generation - hell, to be alive and breathing in the world today is to know (and hopefully love!) STAR WARS! So, I think the best way I can pay tribute to this legendary motion picture is to get as personal with you as I possibly can.

That being said, let me ask you a question - when and where did you first see STAR WARS? Believe it or not, I’ve asked that very question to others on social media and the answers I’ve received are often quite detailed. Many remember the very day they first saw the new movie back in '77, the exact movie theater they saw it in, how long they waited in line to get inside, whether or not the show was sold out, and how long they waited before seeing it again...and again...and again. For those of us who grew up in the late ‘70s, STAR WARS was a cinematic rite of passage to a world that never existed before. If JAWS (1975) got the summer blockbuster up on its feet, then STAR WARS surely cemented it into the foundation of our lives. Those of us who were there at the very beginning devoted six years of our lives to the original trilogy. We saw the movies, we read the books, we listened to the soundtracks and we begged our parents to buy as all those Kenner action figures and other assorted toys. It was a simple stand-alone movie that opened on May 25, 1977 without fanfare, without marketing hype or word-of-mouth. It’s hard to imagine now, but it was also a movie that could’ve easily bombed. Up until then, sci-fi movies for my generation were grim pieces of dystopian societies like the PLANET OF THE APES, THX-1138, SOYLENT GREEN and LOGAN'S RUN. Even Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY was a real thinking piece that didn’t necessarily paint a positive picture for man’s future and his relationships with computer machinery and artificial intelligence. STAR WARS was a much more fun time at the movies, but it would’ve been difficult to know that just by looking at the movie poster and newspaper ads. In fact, if you really paid attention to the movie's earliest ads, you didn't even see what became its infamous tag line, A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Instead, you likely saw this...

Hard to believe forty-one years later, isn't it. But by June of the summer of '77, the word was out – you had to see STAR WARS and you had to see it now! That being the case, I’ll describe the conditions in which I almost saw STAR WARS for the first time (yes, I said almost). My family and I were still living in our Long Island home when the movie opened. Across the street lived my best friend in the neighborhood, David H. It was a Saturday afternoon and we were playing together at his house. His father asked if we’d like to go to a movie. The answer was obvious, but David H. and I needed to agree on what to see. He suggested something new that was playing at the local movie theater called STAR WARS. I rejected the idea for the simple reason that I’d never heard of it before. I asked if there were any monster movies playing anywhere (perhaps I wanted his answer to be GODZILLA VS MEGALON). He told me that there were monsters in STAR WARS, but I held my conviction and continued to reject the idea (ten year-old boys are not necessarily smart ten year-old boys). I felt determined that whatever we saw should be something familiar to the both of us. We finally came to an agreement and went to see (damn, I can hardly bring myself to say this!) FOR THE LOVE OF BENJI. Yes, I actually opted out of seeing the newest and greatest space fantasy blockbuster of all time so I could watch a silly sequel about a little, brown dog wandering an island in Greece. What David H. must’ve thought of me, I can’t even imagine!

It eventually gets better. Jump ahead two months to August. My father announces that he’s finally taking me, my younger brother and my grandmother to see STAR WARS. I was happy, of course, but I wasn’t exactly jumping out of my skin because I still wasn’t fully aware of what I was about to see because my access to public word-of-mouth and marketing hype wasn’t too great. We drove nearly an hour to a neighborhood theater in the Hamptons, got our tickets and seats easily, and without waiting or hassle. When the lights went out and the movie’s opening crawl began, I remember feeling disappointed because I didn’t like starting off a movie that required me to read what the story was about. That disappointment lasted only through the extent of the crawl because as soon as the camera panned downward and the great Star Destroyer shot its way across the screen above the planet of Tatooine, my eyes widened, my mouth opened and I was caught in its grip. The age of ten felt was surely the perfect age to experience STAR WARS. It was a glorious age when a little boy started to break away from childish entertainment and discover the true meaning of heroes and adventure on screen. The ancient mythology of the hero and the villain were incomprehensible to me, but as someone filled with curiosity, wonderment and awe, men like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo defined what a young boy wished he could be in the fantasies of his own mind. When it was all over, I felt so fulfilled, and yet so unsatisfied because it was a feeling that I didn’t want to end. I asked my father if we could stay in our seats and watch it again (you could still easily do that back then). He said no and I’m sure I did my best not to hold a grudge against him. What really became intolerable was the fact that I spent much of the remainder of ‘77 and well into ‘78 repeatedly asking my parents if I could see it again, and their answer was always no. Not since JAWS, had I felt the pinch of being denied access to a popular movie. This was worse, actually, because I’d already seen STAR WARS and I knew just how great an experience it was. Every weekend, the movie section of the Sunday New York Times was there on the table, and every weekend, I had to stare at the images of what was now my favorite movie of all time, and contend with the fact that I wasn’t getting any closer to a second go-around. Unlike today, where a blockbuster movie plays for only a few weeks at the local multiplex before making its way to DVD, Blu-Ray and stream upload, STAR WARS played continuously in movie theaters for nearly a year and eventually surpassed JAWS as the highest grossing film of all time.

For the time being, the closest I got to seeing the movie again was watching THE MAKING OF STAR WARS on ABC on September 16, 1977, just four months after its release, or repeatedly listening to THE STORY OF STAR WARS, a record album of one hour’s worth of action and dialogue from the movie (to be teased like this was just not cool!). Thankfully, however, even the most persistent of nagging kids can inevitably get their way. On July 20, 1978, STAR WARS officially ended its first theatrical run in the United States, but due to its overwhelming popularity, it was given a wide re-release the very next day on July 21st and remained in theaters until the following November (I guess there are some movies you just don’t take away from people). By the time it was all over, between 1977 and 1982, I’d managed to see STAR WARS on the big screen five times. By comparison to many die hard fans, that’s insulting low, I’m sure. Those people clearly had money to burn and more agreeable parents than I did. All in all, from age ten well into my teens, STAR WARS was a major “force” in my life. I’m truly grateful for that and I thank its creator and all those involved from the bottom of my heart for being such an important and influential part of my growing up.

Now regarding what Mr. Lucas chose to do with it back in the 1990s, well...let's just say that I consider myself a movie purist. That means I generally don’t approve of a filmmaker going back and changing their work years later. With very few exceptions, I do not go for Special Editions, Director’s Cuts, Final Cuts, or anything of the sort. I’m of the opinion that once a motion picture has had its general release, and its impact on the moviegoing public has established itself, good or bad, you walk away, you leave it alone and you move on. Sure, I own the Special Edition of the film because it’s what’s available in high definition Blu-Ray, but I’m fortunate that I still keep a working VCR in my life so I can, once in a while, watch STAR WARS as it was (as of 1981, anyway) before Georgie got his hot, little hands on it and unacceptably changed things, in particular the infamous issue of who shot who first at the Mos Eisley Cantina (Han Solo did shoot first!).

The world of STAR WARS has changed so much in the forty-one years since the original film first hit movie theaters, that sometimes it’s difficult to wrap my head around all of it. What started out as a two-hour motion picture of a fairy tale quest inspired by multiple themes and inspirations, including Flash Gordon and Akira Kurosawa’s THE HIDDEN FORTRESS, has since become an uncontrollable (excuse the pun) “empire” comprised of sequels, prequels, computer-generated TV shows, books, video games, graphic novels, YouTube fan made videos, smart phone apps (geez, the list is endless!). But what the original STAR WARS has come to define for a man my age is another time and another meaning compared to today’s generation of fans that fall under the new ownership of the franchise by Disney. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy all eight STAR WARS films (even the prequels) and believe it or not, I still own some of the old toys I managed to hang onto from when I was a kid (and a few extras purchased on eBay over the years), but the reflections I have of the past are perhaps incomprehensible to those who enjoy it all on a different level today. When I was a kid, STAR WARS was just simply a great movie, and always will be.

I'm now left only with what STAR WARS meant to me as a kid and what it still means to me as the adult I am now. It’s my favorite film of the entire saga that I watch when I want to remember that I still have an active imagination. It’s the film I watch when I need to recall a time when a new step forward in science fiction fantasy had been taken and the world stood up and took notice. It’s the film I watch when I want to shake off the stress of the daily grind of adulthood and remember when things in my life were simpler. In short, it’s the film I’ve come to define as my favorite comfort movie. It serves to remind us all that we, as fans of great science fiction, are in the ongoing process of committing ourselves to cosmic and character events, revelations and realizations that play out like a giant inter-galactic soap opera. Mind you, we’re not complaining. We love it! Perhaps it’s even made some of us happier when life gets us down. It has for this guy!

I dedicate this post to David H. I hope he's forgiven me by now.

Favorite line or dialogue:

Luke Skywalker: "So, what do you think of her, Han?"
Han Solo: "I'm tryin' not to, kid."
Luke: "Good."
Han: "Still, she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me...?"
Luke: "No!"